This is a guest blog submitted by Hopelessromantic I read
this article on CNN a while back about various therapies women with low sex drives are trying. This article made me happy because it often seems to like society doesn't care about women's sex drive and that society believes there is no such thing as sexual dysfunction in women. It's as if they don't care if women enjoy sex or not.
There's still a bit of this leftover attitude from long ago that women don't need to enjoy sex or be sexually satisfied (or that it's natural for women not to enjoy sex or have a sex drive). They're just there to carry a child as the product of sex.
First off, that's not true.
If women weren't meant to enjoy sex, the human race would be much less reproductive. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable so that you want to do it and thus procreate. A sex drive is natural instinct. So why is it that it is almost taboo for women to enjoy sex? (for example, a woman who sleeps around is a slut but a man who sleeps around is looked upon as cool? Not fair). Or to talk about enjoying sex. Not that I'm promoting promiscuity for either gender, mind you (that gets dangerous). I'm just saying that everything's really unequal sexually for men and women.
As with all gender gaps, this makes me rather angry. I want to enjoy sex and I definitely have a sex drive. And I expect a man that I am having sex with to make sure that I am enjoying it.
And I'd like to think that if I don't have a sex drive for some reason in the future, there will be a Viagra-like option for me so that I am still able to have a sex drive. It's time people started worrying more about women's needs too.
Do you think society should be concerned about a woman's sex drive? Will there be something for women to take similar to Viagra for men?
Comments (26)
I sure hope there is something equivalent to a men's Viagra. As low as my libido is now, I don't want to think about how bad it'll be in the future.
Having very little sex drive at this point in my life, I've gotta say the only reason it's an issue is because I'm in a relationship with a man who DOES have a sex drive. I want him happy - at home.
I'm not thrilled with the concept that a low libido is a medical problem. That's more a social concept than a health issue.
Can you imagine the upset in the advertising world if sex no longer sold?!
I think it's important, and should be something that males and females take seriously.
unfortunately, women's low libido is a MUCH more complex problem then men's. only pharmaceutical companies think something as simple as one magical pill will change women's low libido...or maybe claiming 1 pill will fix it is just a marketing ploy for them...hmm
anyway, i think there should be more research done into women's low libido because women deserve sexual satisfaction and happiness just as much as men. plus then their husbands/boyfriends/etc. would be getting laid more often, so everyonewould be happier! LOL
i have a pretty low libido sometimes. from what i understand, it's because of some of my medications: they activate the opposite part of the nervous system... i hope that they can come out with something that won't interact badly with my current medications.
for those with libido, but have a hard time orgasming [is that a word?]... have you ever heard of kegel exercises? the concept is supposed to help you orgasm and promote bladder control. probably something that all of us ladies will need as we get older. =|
Oh, god, not again!
Viagra is designed to engorge the genitals with blood, causing a man to get an erection. Theoretically, this genital-engorgement should also work with women. It does NOT create any psychological arousal (except perhaps via the placebo effect). Thus, Viagra is designed to make a man physically ready for sex, NOT to increase his sex drive!
Women ALSO have something that is designed to make them physically ready for sex, that has been around much longer than Viagra. It's called personal lubricant. No, it won't actually increase your sex drive. But also, Viagra won't increase a man's sex drive. So kindly shut up.
There is something that women can take, actually. They just air it on networks like Oxygen late at night (Haha, when Dr. Sue Johanssen comes on. :P). It starts with a "V" I know. I just don't remember. Mainly because I've never faced that problem. We women don't feel the need to advertize that stuff ALL of the time. And just like Viagra, when you stop taking it, your sex drive is pretty much over.
There are a number of things that could slow down a woman's sex drive (just like men) besides health. A lot of them are because you take a new medication and that counteracts with your body. Or, you're surviving cancer and you have to go through a round of chemo (you have to be very strong for that, because it makes you so weak.). And with age.
But yeah. Again, there is something that women can take for that, I probably won't ever reccomend doing that, and I don't reccomend Viagra for men either. And there is always Dr. Sue.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - I know that Viagra messes up your system after a while so I don't see why men take it. When one stops taking it they can't get another erection naturally. (Same goes with Vasiplex or whatever it is.)
I agree with your comment actually :]
Amen to that. I'd hate to see what my libido is like in the future seeing as it sucks now.
Women ARE meant to enjoy sex. The clitoris is the only organ in the human body with the sole purpose of pleasure.
People should be just as concerned about this as they are with men's sex drive problems, but I don't think that meds are the answer. I'm all for meds if they have a purpose and there are very very few other options. All too often our society is just looking for a "magic" pill that will solve all problems. We need to start focusing on other natural methods that can help.
Society should not be concerned with a woman's sex drive or a man's sex drive but it's just the opposite.
Watching grown men on tv singing,"Viva Viagra" ... I mean... do you really want to see the female counterpart of that???What annoys me is that birth control pills can lower your sex drive. It's like a double whammy! I got them so I could practice safe sex and now I don't even want to anymore!
besides some medical conditions, some medications - both OTC and prescription - can effect a sex drive... so does stress - both 'good' eustress and 'bad' distress.
Well a) different medicines such as adderall and even benadryl and plenty of others can cause change in both sexes libido.
if my libido ever gets low, I'll create a pill, or perhaps take a visit to the ole sex shop. Really, I think a lot of older women think they shouldn't enjoy sex, or that they are too tired, too old and have too much to do. A lot of women in general don't consider themselves attractive, therefore don't understand why someone else would think they are attractive, thus resulting in them feeling like useless objects of lust that are not attractive. For these women, I advise them to be selfish sometimes and always remember you have to give some to get some. Both parties included.
also, some men have naturally low libidos so if your libido is low, maybe you should date/marry a man whose libido is low. But uh...good luck with that.
I've never had a sex drive.. but I think there should be a form of birth control pills for men, too. Everything that comes out of sex is both parties' fault, and furthermore responsibility... anyway. In/to some it can be a health problem I'm sure.. I find it ironic that they can test for low libido? but they don't have anything to treat it with specifically.
I agree with you. However I feel the need to point out that viagra addresses erectile dysfunction, which is a physical issue, not lack of sex drive.
@kulamulla@xanga - "Watching grown men on tv singing,"Viva Viagra" ... I mean... do you really want to see the female counterpart of that???"
That was the hardest I've laughed all day!!! XD
But seriously, I would be devastated if I had a low libido. In fact, I've been in a bit of a funk the past few days, and I hate it. I know it'll be back up there soon, but if it ever becomes a chronic problem I hope that there will be options to explore. Maybe not all women would agree with me, but I would consider it a serious medical problem if I were no longer able to enjoy sex.
And I've heard that birth control lowers your libido. As someone who is on the pill, but still has a significantly higher sex drive than average, I'm a little scared of the consequences of going off the pill, haha.
There can be many reasons why a woman has a low libido. An older menopausal woman has to deal with a lot of hormonal issues. Hormone therapy can help a lot. Other women may be taking some sort of psychotropic drugs that naturally reduce ones libido. The stress from life itself can reduce one's libido. However, I believe that a lot of problems women have with low libido has to do with their partners. It takes a woman a long time to prepare for the act of sex. Whereas it takes a man very little time. A man is very visual. Whereas a woman is very emotional. A man needs to start early in the day if he wishes to woo his woman into bed that night. If a woman is expected to be turned on and off at a man's will of course her libido is going to be low. There's nothing in it for her. The act of lovemaking is a give and take and if she doing all the giving... well... why bother?
If there could be a pill that would help a woman's sex drive, that would be great... I don't really see that happening, since the reasons for women having low sex drive are extremely complex. Would be nice, though.
Personally, mine drops and rises according to what monthly phase I am in. I'm looking to healthy dieting and exercise to increase my own libido and maybe make it more consistent.
I think society should be concerned with the reasons behind promiscuity. I know A LOT of people who are sexually promiscuous, and it almost never stems from enjoying sex, and usually leads to emotional pain... But they are told that it is normal to have one-night stands with strangers every weekend, and so they do. That is the current societal sex issue I am concerned about.
I think there are some low testosterone patches and treatments available for women to help boost their sex drive. I'm pretty sure it has a chance to give you a little bit of facial hair, though. But for some women, that's a small price to pay (and something that's easily remedied) for an increased libido.
Wow, I never thought of female-version of Viagra before? o.O
@AHTstudent@xanga - Haha, I think the same thing happened to me, too!
I think a low sex drive is only a problem if the woman identifies it as a problem. I think that just as some people have natural tendencies towards being better at athletics, singing, cooking, etc... some people are born with lower or higher sex drives. I think society makes it into a big deal. If someone has a low sex drive and they are OK with it, then it should be OK. If someone has a low sex drive and they want more of one, then yes, I think there should be tools to help them get there.
Not really thinking that a low libido is a health problem.
I also think low sex drive is only a problem if people believe it's a problem. I think I just naturally have a low sex drive. I'm rarely in a relationship and usually when I am it's with someone who manages to sets off the rare sparks (as an artist, this usually means their personality, their heart, their soul strikes me as beautiful)...so it works out for me. Especially since it's not really that important to me. (Unless I'm actually in a relationship, romance isn't really that important to me either)
*shrugs* To each their own! We're all unique, physiology-wise.
There are SOME drugs that sorta are designed to help ladies these days, just like there's drugs other than viagra that deals with hormones. There's usually a section in natural health shops that sorta addresses this too. And there's books and books written on diet and its relations to libido.
So..yeah. *shrugs*
If you ask me, society's way too obsessed with sex anyway. Who people has it with whom, why, under what circumstances, blah blah blah.
I'm pretty sure viagara is there for both the man and the woman. Because a man can't please his partner without a certain feature. (And yes I know there are other ways, but should'nt both people enjoy it and not just one?)