Saturday, 27 December 2008
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Suicide & Depression: Who's To Blame?
After reading this post and having fought through suicidal feelings myself, I felt inspired to share my opinions regarding society's role on suicide.
One thing I have noticed is: Suicidal individuals are generally harder to approach - making it easier for society to refuse acknowledging them.
If you go to any environment, the majority of the people are living a stable and satisfying life. This one factor is generally enough to make the atmosphere of that place a positive one. Therefore, people tend to go to work or school assuming that everyone is happy - in fact, everybody does seem happy.
What society fails to realize is that suicidal people are not going to jump on your face and tell you what they are contemplating to do. The "happy people" actually need to make that extra effort to acknowledge the lonely and depressed. At least from my experiences, this does not happen often, which explains why suicide rates are increasing:
Society does not put enough emphasis on making EVERYONE feel valued.Take the following examples:
SCHOOL: Let's not deny it - We all know there are cliques at schools. The "popular" kids are joined together, enjoying the accolades from all the others who allegedly want to befriend them. This, of course, is only a stereotype, but you get the picture of the "cool" kids (those with a lot of friends), and people who only want to befriend those who are "cool", a scene that is commonly seen in high schools. Well, doesn't this immediately showcases how the lonely people get left out?
Not only are they isolated with few to no friends, but they are also neglected by any other students because they are simply not "cool" enough. I am not implying that only lonely kids are suicidal, nor that suicidal people are necessarily lonely, this is just an example. In a community like this, students who are already facing problems ranging from family to social life are also treated with indifference, only making matters worse for them.
VIRGINIA TECH SHOOTING: The fact that society overlooks those who are literally screaming for help cannot be shown more perfectly (at least in my opinion) through the 2007 Virginia Tech Massacre. Please take note that I am not by any means justifying the horrible deed that the shooter, Cho, has done.
My profound condolences still go out to the victims and their families. However, what has made me rather angry was how the media referred to this as an accident; in almost every article I have read, paragraphs describing the regulation of the possession of firearms, forgiveness for Cho, and improving campus security were all I came across. While I agree with those things, I was honestly expecting more. The guy had problems. He was neglected by his family. He was bullied in high school. He barely spoke a single word at college. He wrote extremely violent plays, which instead of being taken seriously, only caused his classmates to mock him and distance themselves from him. Those plays were not only important SIGNALS of the pain, depression, and loneliness he has felt, but also loud cries of "HELP!" which apparently, were carelessly overlooked.
Instead of providing him the exemplary support he needed, his school regarded him as an even less valuable object to be thrown off to the side. Sure, he might have had a mental illness but if society would have given him enough attention and tried to help him in all possible ways - even when he decided to quit counseling sessions - perhaps 33 people would have had their lives saved. He was hard to approach - he was indeed too quiet and only spoke one word (if any) to those who tried to talk to him but does that mean that he should simply be ignored? Our first impulse would most likely be yes - if he does not want to be social, then why bother? I have my own life to live, and I've got plenty of friends...so it doesn't really matter if this person does not want to talk to me.Well, seems like it does matter, doesn't it?
What do you think? Do you think society really values everyone? Why or why not?
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- From: x_Mellilina_x
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Comments (33)
this post is depressing.
No, society does not value everyone equally. This is real life, and people who are difficult are usually not going to be approached by people who are leading stable lives which they wish to stay stable. Plus, the few people who are willing to deal with the difficult ones get swamped by having too many friends who are depressed/difficult/etc.
Although I must say, a lot of people who seem happy and popular are often depressed and suicidal. Not everyone who's depressed is going to show it as the stereotypically depressed person in sweats, etc. That guy who shot all those people at his ex-wife's house in CA on Christmas was supposed to be happy and popular...
Society only values those who conform to its ideals. People don't want to think about mental illness, so they ignore it. And, perhaps even worse, psychiatry today has turned into nothing but a "take this pill" profession:
"You're depressed? Take this pill. Oh, just ignore the warnings that it may increase the risk of suicide. I'm too lazy to try to figure out what's really wrong with you."
When even the professionals aren't really interested in helping, where are you supposed to turn?
No, society does not value everyone equally, but that is to be expected... life is not fair, never has been, never will be. Rather than just state and re-state this observation, we should be proactively trying to come up with a solution to solve the ever-growing problem of depression in America. Progress? No, all that's happening is more and more Americans are living more depressed lives. This is not progress.
@LadyLibellule@xanga - well said.
not like you can help people who choose not to recieve it. for the latter, it's not anybody's obligation to have somebody else's personal problems dumped on to them. of course with a little bit of funding you can hire people that specialize in these fields..
and from my personal opinion society should've given him a little help. it being referred to as an "accident" is the apologetic concession prize. ditto
oh my god, so true.
i'm depressed myself. it's because i have no friends. i'm surprised i'm not suicidal, but i use to be. i still question the meaning of life for me.
society is a bitch.
I don't think society values everyone until they've faced a tragedy and it's brought to people's attention. They tend to overlook it until something bad happens, and then act as though they never noticed it at all.
I'm glad you brought up the 'Cho' issue.
I agree completely.
What he did was terrible, but you can't help but to think that it could have been prevented if people had taken the proper time and care to help him.
Who knows how many other people out there are like him, that are currently in the dark, and will come out in a negative form one day, just as he did.
I've thought of society being a "dog-eat-dog" world. Society doesn't value everyone, which is a shame, but unfortunate truth. I've had problems with depression myself and have even felt suicidal, so I am very well aware that society tends to turn its back on those who are depressed and suicidal and those who do need help in this world. The "Cho" issue is a very good example of this.
But I've faced my share of "neglect" as well. My parents are religious, and while they know about my depression, they usually fail to recognize it as a problem. They always say, "It's just a state of mind." A while ago I even had someone (who was apparently a Christian) tell me that every negative thought I had in my head was my fault, and that they were happening because I didn't fully accept God into my life, which really hurt.
friendliness and reaching out are preventive actions.
Once somebody goes too deep into a depression it takes professional help to turn things around
prevcention is probably the best thing we can do.
I always try to be nice to the outcasts and the kids who are a little more awkward than the rest. I know what it's like to be them, and I don't want anyone else to feel like that. Even if they're really annoying, I won't say anything mean to them or tell them to go away. And I refuse to even jokingly tell someone to go kill them self because they just might do it.
No society does not value everyone equally, sadly it's the truth that can't be denied.
It's all about living and caring only for yourself. It's a very selfish society in general. Although people know this, does it really matter? NO. People are still going to only put forth the effort to help themselves or people who would in turn directly or indirectly affects their life. It's pathetic, but at least there are SOME people out there that do care for others and do try to help other people. And I'm not just talking about people who say they care about it or that they'd LIKE to do something to help...I'm talking about the ones that DO something, instead of just complaining that no one does anything.
@nevermore_x13@xanga - I agree. We should try to solve this problem, and I am already considering to start this organization that would go around schools and workplaces to introduce what I have said in this post..maybe it would help, who knows?
@MS_ANNA_CAM@xanga - You just described my life for me. :P Let's stay strong, as long as we have hope, we'll make it through someday :)
Oh god, I do sound corny :P
@sortingandforting@xanga - I'm sorry about your parents not understanding. Mine don't either, but for a different reason - They are simply not considerate of my feelings, which is a typical Chinese thing, so I'm used to it. It's sad to have to parent myself when I'm depressed.
Thanks for sharing.
@LadyLibellule@xanga - Completely true, unfortunately.
@ijustneedhim@xanga - I agree. Most people are all selfish to a certain extent. We can't expect anyone to take care of us..It's like the saying - we all stand alone in this world. I have deep respect for those few people who truly DO something to help out, like you said.
Thanks to everyone who commented, I really learned a lot from all of your responses. :)
I have been depressed for most of my life. I am also very anxious about being in front of crowds. But I am a very goog actress. Take for instance, the me at work, I am a very happy outgoing person. I talk to everyone I know. And a lot of people I don't. I make it a point to talk to the people that noone wants to talk to. They are usually the most interesting people. They aren't trying to imopress everyone else. But the me at home is very diffrent. I have no real friends. I sit at home alone or with my kids every night. I don't dare go anywhere by myself. And noone but me sees the real me. Hell, I depress myself. But you would never guess it if you see me out.
This is a difficult subject to deal with....
It's very difficult for these people to approach others and try to have friends, so it would be better for them if others took the initiative, but... it's not everyone's job to make that one person happy. Sometimes we don't talk to them because, frankly, they never have anything to say. No one really WANTS to talk to them because they hardly respond, and when they do, there's nothing interesting to discuss, and then it makes it harder to keep talking to one another. I do tend to talk to people who look sad, lonely, or withdrawn, but it can be difficult to get them to open up and be friendly... so it's difficult in turn to find things to say to them. (And then sometimes they start to follow me around, which is a bit strange. But I guess that means I've succeeded.)
Anyway, but I guess my point is that nothing will work out unless those people put forth effort as well. If that Cho guy was constantly silent and barely responded to others, then of course no one would want to talk to him; he was discouraging them.
So although it is difficult for them to open up... it's also difficult for people to attempt to befriend them if they don't try too. A friendship should benefit both people, and if you don't get any happiness or satisfaction from it, then... there's really no point.
@x_Mellilina_x - yeah! stay strong xoxo
if you watched korean dramas, the term "aja aja fighting" will mean something to you. if not, it's on wikipedia.
Absolutely not!!!
http://www.republicanherald.com/articles/2008/12/23/news/local_news/pr_republican.20081223.a.pg1.pr23nason_s1.2181170_top3.txt
Check this out. I think some kids feel neglected and ignored to the point they need to start saying crazy things to recieve help. This story is horrifying...a local kid got put in jail because he made threats to kill people. He didn't even have a gun, wasn't questioned whether or not he needed therapy, just thrown in the slammer. We tell kids eveyday how unappreciated they are and then throw them in jail as if it's not going to screw them up moreso.
this is so amazingly politically correct lol
I believe that your right but do the 'Happy' people really want to be around people who are sad all the time with a negitive perspective on life? No, It will bring them down and make them unhappy so they avoid them. I know what it's like to tell someone that they're awesome or beautiful and they denie it because they want to die. It's frusterating so most people give up and go away. I tried to kill myself plenty of times and I spent years of my life being deppressed until one day I stoped dweling about what happend to me a few years ago. It's sad to know that so many young people in America want to die. There's nothing that's ever a good enough reason to end your life.
I was never in the "in" crowd. EVER. As a result i have a deep hatred for cheerleaders.
seriously though.. I ODd on painkillers just a few nights ago and I feel emotional pain more intensely than anyone I know and I get violent when it happens. Is that a result of my school years? who knows, but I alone am responsible for my actions.