Sunday, 18 January 2009

• Observing People At The Gym

  
  

  
  

  Old People - There are a lot of old people at my gym, most of them Asian. Most of them stick to easy, least stressful activities such as walking the track or sitting in the hot tub.
  

  They look grumpy most of the time. They remain non mobile for their entire stay the gym, everyone wonders why they would pay money just to float around the pool."

  Once I saw one a guy in the lane next to me in the pool with weird, giant circles haphazardly placed on his back. I honestly thought they were some horrible disease, but when I asked my mom, she said they were a type of Chinese acupuncture involving hot stones. Ouch.

  The Athlete - The athlete is usually a fit, toned, muscular man (or woman, in this case she would have a designer sports bra on, complete with matching shorts and the most sophisticated pair of running shoes).
  

  They embody what every gym goer wants to achieve. Not only do they run the fastest on the treadmill, they bench the most, lift the heaviest weights, do the most number of sit ups, and pull themselves up the bar better than anyone else in the gym.
  

  They are friends with every trainer. In fact, most of them probably look up to the athlete for advice and motivation. In addition, whenever the athlete is injured, he/she will still show up to the gym to socialize with the trainers.

  Did I mention that THE athlete is THE douchebag? K thnx.

  Engineers - Need I say more? These are the awkward, socially unstable men who flock together by the leg press machine for the simple reason of discussing the latest engineering project.
  

  Pay a hundred bucks a month to work out? To actually use the machines? Please. The gym is the best place to discuss new strategies and share gossip of the latest IEEE semiconductor microchiptron conbustion add-on!

  Amazon woman - These ladies put Wonder Woman and the other Justice League girls to shame. Not only do they have a manly body, they usually show it off in tiny shorts and tiny rib-back tank tops.
  

  These women all the ability to be pretty. Just take away their large muscle mass and their permanent facial expression that looks like their going to eat you - and you got a fashion model. Sweat, muscles, and the American way.

  

  Flip flopper - These are the people that come in wearing flip flops. They are not the one dollar sale ones at Old Navy. They usually wear the expensive, flashy, durable sandals that you can only buy at specialty sport stores.
  

  The person is under the impression that they can use a treadmill with them on. Technically, that is possible, but not without menacing stares and glares from people with actual shoes on that don't get a treadmill, thanks to these flip flop wearing idiots wasting space.

  

  Sweaty Betty/Sweaty Bobby - These are the people that are working to their limits. Great use of your workout, guys! What differentiates them from other gym goers is the fact that they are drenched in sweat.
  

  Their hair is matted in disgusting grease, as if they just stepped out of a shower. Their shirts cling to their bodies and are darkened by the unhealthy amount of perspiration.
  

  Not only do these people smell, they leave their liquids on exercise machines. It's understandable to leave some amount of sweat on the seat, but these people think that their mess can be cleaned up with their tiny rag in which they bring to every machine. That small square towel can only soak up so much sweat and is very, very ineffective.

  The couple - The couple goes to the gym together almost daily. They usually have shirts from the same event (i.e. the male has a 2007 5K, the female has the 2008 version of the 5K shirt on).
  

  They are cute in the fact that they help each other adjust weights. They also like to run together. I'm pretty sure everyone wants to be part of these one day; I know I do

  The people you know - These people are your friends and acquaintances from school, church, and work. Out of all the people that are at the gym, these are the ones you want to see the least.
  

  Making eye contact with them is awkward because nobody knows what to say. At the same time, you cannot avoid it because you know it would be mentioned the next time the two of you see each other.

  My Mom - she is the tube sock powerhouse working it up on those ellipticals. Yeeeah, baby!

  Do you see any of these people at the gym?  Which one are you? Do any of these people annoy you when you go to work out?

  healthkicker.com
  

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