It's something that many women aren't comfortable with, particularly on their first visit.
I can't really say I blame them. For some, it's the first time somebody nonchalantly tells you to strip down, don a paper gown, and put your legs in the air (well, actually, the stirrups)
I'm sure most of you know that women are suggested to begin seeing a gynecologist for checkups as soon as they become sexually active, or when they turn 21--whichever comes first.
It's kind of like going to the dentist. After all, most people go for a dental checkup at least once a year, so why is your "downstairs" any different?
Now here's my dilemma: The gynecologist is probably not one of the most looked-forward-to experiences of a woman's life.
Let's look at the statistics: According to
rainn.org, 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That's over 17.7 million American women. According to a 1993 study in Canada, almost 1/2 of Canadian women were sexually assaulted since the age of 16 (I realize this is a bit of an aged statistic, but you can catch my drift).
Since my own experiences with abuse, I can honestly say that the very last thing I want is somebody poking around down there. The feelings of fear, no control and the association of this sort of contact with something so incredibly painful and negative are all prevalent in my mind when I consider seeing the gynecologist.
Do women dread going to the gynecologist? Has anyone who was abused, avoided the gynecologist because of the painful memories?
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Comments (101)
I know I don't wanna go to the gynecologist...that has no appeal to me whatsoever. I'm a really private person, physically speaking, but I would imagine that very few people would yearn for that.
Wow, I can only imagine that having been abused must seriously compound the already difficult feelings associated with going to the gynecologist! That must be really hard.
I'm trying to set up an appointment this week to see a gynecologist because I'm getting married in a few months. I'm scared of getting someone rough and unfriendly (which is why I'm NOT going to the one closest to my college- heard many things about her and none of them are good). I'd rather see a female than a male. I'm so nervous about it. Gah!
But I NEED TO GO. It is important. It's time for me to suck it up and brace for that cold speculum...
I've been very fortunate and I have not been abused, but either way going to the GYN is very uncomfortable and I hate it every year, and I don't think I'll ever get used to it. The best thing you can do is find a GYN you're very comfortable with. My GYN is a very nice woman and she always makes small talk about life to distract me.
If you're tense and nervous and anxious it will definitely contribute to your discomfort. Just try and relax and remember that it's although its uncomfortable, it's to make sure you're healthy.
I've never been to one. But I probably should go. Ugh it's just not something I look forward to having to do.
I don't love going to the gyno, but, it isn't as bad as I hear people making it out to be. I went for the first time when I was 16. I have not been sexually abused, however, the nurses and doctors are trained to provide care to individuals who have and aside from that, they are human and most are instinctually empathetic and will do anything they can to make the experience less traumatic. Personally, I would just explain my situation to the dr. or nurse and discuss with them the steps and things you are not comfortable with.
I've been to one and it was extremely uncomfortable for me, even though the lady was just doing her job and not being rough about it.
Even though it's suggested that a girl see a gynecologist at some point in their life (either regularly or whatever), I really don't want to go... ever... I'm not comfortable at all with the idea of some gynecologist I barely know poking around down there (and even if I did get to know them a bit, I'd still feel uncomfortable).
I don't look forward to these appointments, but they don't bother me. I see a nurse practitioner who is really friendly and moves quickly. If I had to choose between seeing the dentist and the gynecologist, I think I would go with the gynecologist.
I've never gone.
It doesn't sound appealing, though, in any way.
Women survived millions of years without going to the gynecologist and we're not extinct. I'm probably not ever going to go unless I get pregnant.
The first time I had to have a pelvic exam, it was after I was sexually assaulted.
I found it to be a traumatic experience.
Yes. I won't do it. I would be sobbing and shaking. Not happening.
I would suggest finding a lady gynecologist that your comfortable with. I hate people poking around on me but this I found bearable.
I am very comfortable with my lady gynecologist. If a woman is sexually active, be it in a monogamous or nonmonagamous relationship, or even it be a man, everyone should be getting regular exams and checkups and tested for everything. You could be getting cervical cancer or who knows what and not even feel any symptoms.
better safe than sorry.
I had a friend who went for an exam and wanted to get tested for stds but lied about having "protected" (unprotected) sex and I told her the doctor cant help you if you lie about stuff. This is about your health, not about a stranger YOU PAY to judge your sex life. Whatever the case (you're embarassed about), they'll probably seen a lot worse/more embarassing things.
The first time I went to the gyno, I didn't realize how all up in my business they would be.
So it was like dead winter, and I hadn't shaved anywhere in months. Awkward to say the least.
It's really not that bad, and it's always nice to get that clean bill of health.
I'm not at all bothered by it. My mom wanted me to go a year after I first started menstruating [so at age 13] and I was very hesitant about that, very uncomfortable with the idea.
As a couple years went by and I learned more about the world, I came to accept the idea as just another medical necessity to just make sure that you're in good health and to prevent or treat any potential issues that may have arisen. I planned on making an appointment with one to get a PAP smear but never got around to it because I hadn't impressed upon myself the utmost importance of it and was still somewhat shy.
Last May, I had an ovarian cyst rupture. Before we knew for sure that's what the issue was, while I was in a room in the ER I was told they would need to perform a pelvic exam. When you're in an emergency, and something is wrong with your innards, you can't really afford to be shy or whatnot. That could've escalated to a fatal situation. So an OB-GYN came in, a male doctor, accompanied by a female nurse, and performed the pelvic exam.
That exam was really not so terrible. It sucked because of the circumstances under which it had to be had, but the doctor was very respectful, polite, and gentle and explained every step of the exam BEFORE he did it.
I am now one of his regular patients; went back a month or two later for a proper exam and PAP smear. Again, he was very polite, gentle, courteous and respectful.
It is the law that if the doctor is male then there must be a female nurse [or other such medical person] present. You have the right to request another person's presence if it would make you feel more comfortable in terms of say, easing your mind from the realm of past or potential assault.
I won't lie; it is awkward at first to have someone poking at your junk. But these doctors have seen many other patients and are pretty much desensitized to their work. So I don't think that it is such a terrible thing. If you have insurance and it is covered, then go get a PAP smear annually like you're supposed to. If you're having trouble with things in that department please go! Being healthy is, in the long run, more important than modesty. Things like cervical cancer can go undetected without these checkups and then it can sneak up on you in a nasty way.
It isn't so bad.
I am going to avoid going to the gynecologist for as long as possible. I'm not sticking anything up my vagina, so I don't see any reason to have a doctor do it for me..
Nor am I getting a pap smear. It's for a certain kind of cancer that doesn't run in my family, and I'm not sexually active. So... Screw that. And even if I did get cancer, it's not like I'm going to pay for the treatment.
@sierrraa@xanga - Amen to that.
I had to have my physician give me a physical this year since I turned 21 (I'm not sexually active. The only thing that's ever been up there is a tampon). She basically "made" me because I've been on birth control for a long time (for my periods) and the hormones in the BC could do some damage, I guess. Anyway. It was extremely unpleasant. She almost had someone come in to hold my hand. At first it felt like an uncomfortable tampon and then the force and pinching and prodding came, AHH. At least she didn't stick her hand up my bajingo and feel around in my abs and what not. Just the pap test. But still, I sounded like I was orgasming or something with my noises. It was SO uncomfortable and it made me never want to have sex or have kids.
I have never related being assaulted with going to see my physician....actually, it's never really been that traumatic for me. I personally disliked my first gynecologist, but otherwise, the doctor I am with now is great. I work in medicine, and I want to be a doctor, so possible this helps me "detach" but I am perfectly fine with stripping down and strapping up. I've even had upwards of four medical students observing and been ok with it. It's my body, but that's all it is.
Whew, I was beginning to think I was the only female who is nearly horrified by the concept. All of my friends are so nonchallant about it, and I'm still disturbed. My mom wanted me to go after I turned 18; I don't need to at present but I understand that in the future, for some reason, you almost HAVE to have an exam before or soon after you go on birth control. Why?! Uhg. I will find a way around it.
I agree, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but once I started taking birth control, I've been going regularly. I've also combined it in the past with a general physical (had cholesterol, glucose, etc levels checked). I think preventative medicine is incredibly important for my personal health, and even though chances I'll get cervical cancer or an STD are incredibly slim, I feel better knowing that I am making an effort to maintain my health.
I aspire to become an OB/GYN- we haven't gotten to the part of school where we learn how to perform pelvic exams, but I'm hopeful that my training will allow me to make the process as comfortable as possible for my future patients! So far I've been in the room for an occasional pap smear- and I'm always grateful to the women that allow me to be present and learn from their exams.
It's really not that bad ... My doctor is this funny old man and even though I was nervous about having a male gyno at first, he made me feel totally comfortable and at ease. There might be a little physical discomfort during the exam but it's never been that bad for me. As for the psychological part, I can't say I look forward to having a stranger down there, but all in all, it's not too traumatic. He sees so many bajingos everyday that it's egotistical to think that mine will stand out to him in anyway so I try not to get embarrassed. I agree with whoever said they would rather go to the gyno than the dentist --- much less pain at the gyno and they don't yell at you for not flossing well.
i guess i feel comfortable going to the gynecologist just because i want to know that everything is alright "down there" as u said. Though you are right about people that had experiment bad situations be dramatically effect by the fact of going to the gynecologist because they aren't comfortable, maybe when this is the case, you would try and find or prefer a female gynecologist just to make u feel more comfortable.
To my knowledge, you can't get checked by the gynecologist unless u've been sexually active, meaning u lost ur virginity already no matter what age? though im not sure about this fact im just saying to my knowledge =\
actually i find it comforting... as long as i'm comfortable with the gynecologist (please be woman) then I feel good knowing if 'everything' is okay... hehe
I've been molested but the gynecologist wasn't bad. At least they're doing their job and checking me out to make sure I'm healthy. Not nerve wracking, well maybe a little the first time, but seriously? I'd prefer a professional to a sex offender every day.