Tuesday, 12 May 2009
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Their Weight Problem is Bad For My Mental Health
Several members of my family are overweight. And so, over the years, I've seen it all: gym memberships, near-religious watching of The Biggest Loser (now, that TV show could go on forever), resolutions that didn't stick, becoming friends with a famous "fitness personality" who came to the area a couple times, self-worth issues picked up over years of cultural negativity towards the heavier ones.
For someone who was once the string bean of the family, obesity is the 'third rail' of family conversations. Especially, if one were reckless enough to call another member of the family..."fat." I've learned to just remove that word from my vocabulary. It's not an adjective...it's a slur or a slam. It's like that whole thing about not asking a lady her age or her weight...trust me. I'm not going to say, "you ever think about losing a little weight?"
And, of course, every now and then, one of them talks about major lifestyle changes; dropping a bunch of weight, and having some big road trip to some major landmark to celebrate. What do I do? I pretend to pay attention and I say things like, 'uh huh' And,'"yeah, you're right'"... I'll support them. I'll help them.
Do they want my help? I don't know. I know I'm tired of being treated as the "food police". "No, don't go thinking I ate that whole thing relatives and children were there too" (Which is usually the case). And God knows I'm sick and tired of hearing them whine about it.
I'd almost rather talk about human reproductive system than have my kid ask me "Dad, do I need to lose weight?"
Internal response: "Dammit, don't ask me." What I actually say: "I'm not the expert on that, honey. Ask (friend who owns a health club in another state.)"
And finally...you know what's really bad? I've picked up a few pounds over the years. (OK, I'm 6'1" and 225 lbs.) I've got at least two relatives noticeably rounder than me and who gets all the fat jokes? ME. I'm the one who gets asked, "when are you gonna give birth?" I'm the one called "The pregnant man" at the playground, BY MY KIDS!
I almost think it's not the weight that kills you, it's the non-physical baggage that comes along with it.
Does it bother you when others are constantly talking about getting in shape or losing weight but never do anything about it? Do you ever get teased about your weight?
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About the Author
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- From: Romans_837@xanga
- Name: Steven
- About Me: I'm More than a Conqueror, I'm a husband and a father, I'm one of the Pratt Brothers 2000™
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Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 736 Comments: 0 22 View all posts by Romans_837@xanga
Comments (12)
Yes to the first, and no to the second.
I just ignore when they complain. They all fish for compliments.
It gets on my nerves when someone constantly talks about anything.
That has to be so annoying and frustrating.
I hate when people say that they are going to lose weight and then do nothing about it. Call it laziness, call it lack of willpower, call it whatever you will.
I've never been technically overweight (HW:137 lbs at 5'5"), but when I say I'm going to lose weight I mean it. I've dropped 4 lbs over the last week, and I plan on continuing the weight loss.
my gradmother called me fat yesterday.... think she does it because she is overweight...
i know what it's like to be food "adviser" a group of american girls came to the place I used to live (a "foyer") they were surprised "you're skinny and you EAT???" (I was 102 lbs at that time) WHAT DO YOU EAT? do you exercise?
no I don't exercise and yes I eat.
i understand your frustration. maybe you should tell them more directly
It really gets on my nerves when my friends complain about being fat. They don't change their lifestyle. I suggest them to chop their arms and legs off. They'll lose 4 kilos.
A lot of people calls me fat but I'm happy with my own body. I'm fit and healthy.
Meh, i've always been a curvy girl, and from what i've noticed, all the insults that came my way were from girls who looked like sticks. So it never really bothered me because i was happy with my weight.
i ignored people who bitched about their weight all the time (or at least ignored the complaints) because it's not my problem. Most (and by most, i mean anyone old enough to decide for themself if their eating the salad or the double whopper who DOES NOT have any actual glandular problem) people who are overweight are like that for not watching their eating habits in the first place (myself included).
If they really don't like it, they need to develop some restraint and fix it themselves. It's no one else's job to do it for them. The most you can do is help if they ask. But they have to do it themselves.
i lost all my extra weight till i was fully comfortable with my body. And i did it completely on my own. i started running, and i ate healthier foods (despite the fact i was the only one eating healthy and my family continued eating fast food all the time and buying a lot of junk food).
It's not like it's hard to do, you just have to have the will power to pull it off.
I have an eating disorder, had it since I was twelve, so I've always been severe to partially underweight. Been teased about that.
Mainly it's me teasing myself inside my head, calling myself fat etc.
You should be grateful that YOUR weight is something you can control, if you drop the excess weight for you own health etc. you'll stop hearing the insults and you can SAVE your children from a life of obesity.
I however will probably never stop hearing the tauntings for my weight. Seriously, change your lifestyle, exercise, eat healthily. Being unhealthy eatingwise causes depression, diseases, but I'm sure you've heard all those things before.
I'm sorry if I offended you, I just felt as though i should tell the truth. You have all the control, you just need to use it. Not just for you but for your children. Don't tell them that you're 'dieting', don't actually diet, just switch sodas for water/juice/smoothies, stop eating fried foods, switch poptarts & crap for oatmeal etc.
My friend is like that. I joke with her and say that she always say that but never does it
That is a topic that no one who hasn't been through it can understand.
But, I do.
I'm sorry but, underweight is not the same as overweight,so who ever said that about having a disorder, just get your shit together, you are relaying on the crutch of it being a problem for you, then fix it, don't expect pity from it.
I've always been overweight, since I was a baby, it's something that I've have to live with all my life, and all harassment, over the years, kids not being nice to me because of it, constant hatred because of it, I lost a lot of weight when i was still in highschool, down to my lowest weight of 168, but that changed when I had a major shock in my life, someone close to me had been murdered, I didn't eat for a long time, I bloated, then I began to eat again, never stopped, and didn't care, didn't work out like I used to because I'd go with him.
But, now I'm begining again, and my weight turned out to be quite high, but I've lost almost 40 pounds already from 238, and the way things are going, I think it'll only go down from there.
I used to get teased about my weight, but not really anymore. I have had people make snide remarks, but I have learned to ignore it.
My mom tells me I'm fat, and that hurts worse than if any of my friends or acquaintances said it.