Saturday, 30 May 2009

  • Coping Mechanisms, Bulimia, and the Addiction




    I have been diagnosed with bulimia and I can attest to how "disturbing and sad" it is when food takes over your life.

    What people really need to understand is that it goes deeper than just wanting to be "thin".

    For me, overconsumption of food is a coping mechanism - a way I deal with life's issues. I tend to overeat when when I am feeling a strong emotion whether it be stress, anxiety, depression, boredom, anticipation, or (sometimes) even joy. This overeating more often than not leads me to resort to self-induced vomiting. I know that it is unhealthy and I am putting effort forth to recover. Every day that I go without bing-eating/purging is an accomplishment for me. Most people have no idea how difficult it is for people with bulimia to stop themselves when they start to binge.

    It's this strong urge that takes over you, like an addict would feel when they have been deprived of their drug of choice and then are presented with the opportunity to use it.

    Logical thinking goes out the window and you become focused on shoving as much food as possible into your mouth before your body starts to revolt against you. You eat and eat and eat, all the while trying to numb yourself to whatever emotion you are feeling. When the binge is all over with you feel better, emotionally that is. Physically you feel terrible. You have just consumed an inordinate amount of food and your stomach is not happy whatsoever. In addition, you may still be feeling whatever emotion you were trying to avoid. This is where the self-induced vomiting comes in. You do it for several reasons. One is to relieve the discomfort/pain in your stomach. Another is because you are afraid of gaining weight from all the calories you have just consumed (which can be in excess of 2500 in one sitting). The third is because you know that when you purge, it feels like a release of emotion. After the vomiting, you may still feel horrible physically but now you have purged from yourself not only the food but also your emotions, even if it is only a temporary relief.

    I think that there needs to be more focus on educating people about eating disorders. This would allow those who suffer from them to be better understood and therefore more likely to seek help and recover.

    What are your opinions on eating disorders? Could you relate to this in any way even if you have a different coping mechanism (such as exercising, sleeping, video games, drawing, drinking, etc.)?


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Comments (42)

  • TalithaKum88@xanga

    I've gone through periods in my life where I've binged almost daily, eating over 2,000 calories in one sitting. Luckily, I rarely ever binge now and when I do it is never as huge of an amount as it was in the past. I've lost a ton of weight just by restricting my daily intake to 1,500-1,800 calories total a day.
  • hipbonesarein@xanga

    i've had an eating disorder since i was 9.  it was mostly restricting and fasting, but i did have a short term relationship with bulimia.  one thing that i learned is that the anti-depressant called lexapro can actually stop bulimia.  
  • justadmitit00@xanga

    I'm a bulimic, too, and this post definitely hit home for me. It is somewhat baffling to me when people are convinced that the sole motivation is weight loss. I was talking to my dad the other day, for example, and he finally just said, "You're not fat." I didn't know how to respond to that because, while I can understand to a degree that it looks like it's about weight, it seems obvious that it would take more to force a person into an addiction like bulimia or anorexia. But anyway, I thank you for posting this. Hopefully people who do not have eating disorders will glean a little more insight from it, and those who do might feel a little less alone in the struggle.
  • justadmitit00@xanga

    @hipbonesarein@xanga - That's odd, because my bulimia got somewhat worse on Lexapro, and on Prozac, for that matter, which is also highly indicated for bulimia. I doubt it was the fault of the drugs, though. Just saying, it takes more than the pills, you know?
  • JupitersDays@xanga

    I hope after reading this, more people will have a better understanding about eating disorders and how it's not just about being thin.

    Thanks so much for sharing your experience!

  • zretrareo27@xanga

    @hipbonesarein@xanga - They put me on that, and it did nothing. It depends on the person.

    I don't like your screen name by the way. 
  • karenkimberlykim@xanga

    i had binge eating, bulemia and anorexia at the same time.
    im not binge eating anymore, im satisfied. im not throwing up anymore.
    and i eat now.
    :)...iguess
  • PriorityMoi

    I am recovered from an eating disorder, so I know that recovery is possible. Never give up on that truth!


    I know of a good site that might help you, www.live-out-loud.org


  • glamorousmess@xanga

    i know how you feel dear. you have to replace binging and purging with exercise. thats the only thing that worked for me. also if you over eat just punish yourself and learn the consequences. thats the only way you can stop. but you have to want to stop. and iknow its hard sos expect relapses. im here for support.


    staystrong..xooxox


  • just__one__me@xanga

    @TalithaKum88@xanga - Congrats on the healthy weight loss, it's always encouraging to hear! I really do want to lose weight in a healthy way, but it's quite difficult to overcome the urges to binge. I have decided to restrict my intake to between 1000 and 1400 calories. I know that it may be a little low, but I'm afraid that if I eat more I may start to go down the path of binging.

    @hipbonesarein@xanga -  @justadmitit00@xanga - @zretrareo27@xanga - I'm currently on 40mg of Prozac (60mg is what is recommended for the treatment of bulimia), but I was on it before I became bulimic so I don't know if my symptoms would be worse if I weren't on it. I've never tried Lexapro, but I do want to talk to my psychiatrist about adjusting/changing my medications. I suppose it is different for every individual.

    @justadmitit00@xanga - I'm glad my post rang true with others' experiences. In real life, I have felt relatively alone with my disorder as I have only met one other person who struggles with bulimia. I met her in college, and now that it's summer we're 2300+ miles apart. We've only talked about it once, and that was only very briefly. Xanga really helps me to connect with others who deal with similar issues.

    @JupitersDays@xanga - You're welcome. Thanks for encouraging me to submit it! What do you think of the picture they choose to go with it?

    @karenkimberlykim@xanga - How did you get over the binge-eating/vomiting? I'm glad you've been able to stop, and I hope that you never have to deal with it again.

    @PriorityMoi - Sometimes it does seem like recovery is impossible, but people (such as yourself) have done it so I know that it is within reach. Thank you for the link, I'll go ahead and check out the site!
  • just__one__me@xanga

    @everythingsjustwonderfull@xanga - I've been trying to exercise more, but only in the last few days have I actually done any. Oddly enough, I haven't had the urge to binge-eat for four days! It's been a nice reprieve. Unfortunately, I have exercise induced asthma so heavy exercise is quite difficult for me (which is why I have been avoiding it). I'm determined to try to beat this thing, so I will try the exercise route. Thanks for the advice!
  • IHeldMyBreath@xanga

    I agree. More education for the general public is a must.
    Maybe then the people who would "give her a fucking cheeseburger, dammit" would realize how idiotic they sound when they critique a disease they know nothing about.
    Hang in there :) 
  • JupitersDays@xanga

    @just__one__me@xanga - To me the picture represents depression more than bulimia, but bulimia does have to do with depression. 
  • just__one__me@xanga

    @IHeldMyBreath@xanga - Bulimia seems to be a disorder that is widely misunderstood, even I wish I had been taught more about it. Thanks, I'm trying to hang in here and I'm fighting for recovery.

    @JupitersDays@xanga - That's what I was thinking. This picture would fit well with a post about self-injury; maybe I'll write one soon. Bulimia and depression are very intertwined, at least they are for me as depression can be a trigger for my binges (and my self-injury). I wonder if there are any people who suffer from bulimia that don't also suffer from depression...
  • noree_n@xanga

    eating disorders aren't all about being thin, it can be about being in control of (some aspect) your life.
  • JupitersDays@xanga

    @just__one__me@xanga - Depression and bulimia are very intertwined for me too. Yeah. I wonder that too. Maybe I'll ask some of the professionals I'll be working with and see what they say. haha. 
  • JupitersDays@xanga

    @IHeldMyBreath@xanga - hahaha. That does sound idiotic doesn't it? 
  • hipbonesarein@xanga

    @zretrareo27@xanga - my name is over 3 years old and was made when i was crazy into my eating disorder.  i don't like it either, but i'd rather not start a new xanga as that just leads to complications.
  • just__one__me@xanga

    @noree_n@xanga - I'd say that's true more for anorexia then bulimia. With bulimia I often feel out of control, but I suppose for other people bulimia could be partially about control.

    @hipbonesarein@xanga - Did you know that you can trade in credits for a new user-name and still keep the same account? :)
  • hipbonesarein@xanga

    @just__one__me@xanga - oh seriously?!  i have  lot of credits.  how many does it take/how do you go about doing so?
  • just__one__me@xanga

    @hipbonesarein@xanga - It takes 10,000 credits. Follow this link to change your username. Choose a good one!
  • hopethatitglows@xanga

    Thanks for this post.
    I'm struggling with bulimia right now as well.
    I'm trying to stop, but it's ridiculously hard.
    I think I have depression too...

    Good luck to you.
  • suicidalspirit@xanga

    Great post, true, yet really sad...

    I definitely can relate to what you've said... with my finals coming up... girl... what a torture... but again, it's the 'release' of everything and nothing... somehow, b/p can fill the void inside of me... somehow, it is a release of combination of things (that I don't really understand) that would be  piling up all inside me....

    I love you, look after yourself, my friend.

    & Thanks for sharing the post. I found it quite informative, especially for those who seem to misunderstand what Bulimia --or ED in general-- is all about...

    Peace&
    LOVE,

  • zretrareo27@xanga

    @just__one__me@xanga - Yeah you can change the usernames now! 
  • XxscaredangelxX@xanga

    my coping=mechanism is cutting. the release of blood is also a release of emotions. so i udnerstand that whole part.


    i also restrict calories. i still have trouble with eating. ive thrown up before but perfer to just not eat at all. id rather not eat and feel that pain in my stomach then focus on the emotional pain i go through.


    i think your idea is good to let others know about eating disorders. even if youve gone through one - you can always learn more about it and learn from other peoples explanations.


    Hugs n Kisses,
    ~ Ali ~

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