A woman in step class was wearing a black lace bra. Not underneath anything, as bras are generally meant to be worn. Not even on top of something, Madonna-style (is it just me or is she coming up an awful lot on here lately??) which quite truthfully would have been preferable. Nope, it was black bike shorts (Spanx?), a large expanse of untoned pasty flesh and then black lace, delicate straps and
underwire. In the gym.
I'm Too Sexy For My ShirtIt was as if she had rushed to the gym, forgetting she wasn't wearing a top. Except that the aerobics room is flanked with mirrors so it's not like it was something she could miss. Or perhaps she was on her way somewhere else and saw the gym and thought "I really ought to take a step class today. Drat, forgot my clothes! Oh well, I'll just strip down to my skivvies and no one will be the wiser." I really wanted to ask her what the deal was. Or offer her pasties. But that would have been rude. So instead I'm blogging about it to an Internet full of strangers. Because that's not rude.
I'm Too Sexy For My PantsAll of this reminded me of another tragic episode of Gym Fashion that I witnessed several months ago: an older fellow in a red polo shirt, black knee socks, dress shoes and... tighty whities. Riding the recumbent bike. He definitely wasn't demented as he was carrying on a very loud conversation with the woman next to him who, to her credit, seemed completely unaffected. He was also speaking with a thick accent that made me wonder if perhaps he was from one of those countries where everyone strips down to go hang out at the bath house together and it's all very social and non-sexual and what's wrong with you American prudes anyhow.
And yet. Tighty whities. At least go with boxer shorts next time.
Proper Gym AttireI'm not one of those people that dresses up to go to the gym. No makeup, bedhead and a cotton tank top with pants (if it's winter, like it is here nine months out of the year) or shorts (if I'm on vacation somewhere warm or if I'm running outside and need to use my white legs in lieu of reflective gear). You remember this:
So it's not like I expect other people to be Gym Tyme Barbie or anything. But really there are a few rules one should follow.
Charlotte's Rules For Dressing Yourself(because your mother just can't drive that far every day so stop asking already)
1. No visible underwear. I am not talking about sports bras in this rule but rather actual brassieres (hee - whens the last time you said that word?). Most women know the difference and if you are one of those who are confused, do 10 jumping jacks and if the girls bounce like water balloons in socks then you've got the wrong kind. The keys to remember here are support and nipple coverage. This rule also includes thong straps. I heart that you heart thongs but I don't need to see the actual heart on the back triangle.
2. Some people might read the previous rule and think they should wear no underwear to the gym. This would be false. Please wear appropriate underwear. I will never forget the day when I witnessed a grandpa in old-skool shorty shorts lift up his leg to stretch. I learned things no middle schooler should ever have to know unless they want to go into nursing or professional waxing when they grow up. And women? The wrong pants + no undies = camel toe. Just do a mirror check, is all I'm saying.
3. No clothing with inappropriate words or words in inappropriate places like, say, your
butt crack. I know, I know, freedom of speech and all that. But if I crash into a wall because I'm concentrating so hard on reading the 10 lines of text on your shirt (that's backwards because I'm staring at you in the mirror) that explain your world view on how they should open baby seal clubbing to everyone and not just those lucky park rangers, then I'm totally blaming you.
4. Wear shoes you can actually work out in. This means no flip-flops, stilettos, cowboy boots, slippers, or construction boots.
Moon boots? If you have the chutzpah to pull those off then you have my permission to work it, girl.
5. No
hammer pants, men.
6. No excess bling. Unless you're Mr. T. Or can at least rock a mohawk like him. This includes ladies.
7. Skip the scent. Contrary to what your hygeine-challenged grandmother or French exchange student told you, wearing copious amounts of cologne or perfume will not cover up the smell of your body odor. In fact in will permeate the room until it strangles everyone within a 100-foot radius of you. I'd rather smell your sweat than your perfume any day of the week. PS> This also goes for pot. Yes we can smell it. And no it's not strong enough to give us a contact high so cut it out.
You Wouldn't Think We'd Have To Say This StuffAnd yet... lace bra. Tighty whities. Shirtless man wearing a heart rate monitor that I swore was a bandeau bikini top for about 5 laps until he turned around. Some people need our help.
What's the most egregious Gym Fashion sin you've ever seen? And what's your standard gym uniform? Got a pet peeve? I gotta know these things!
Comments (171)
Old college shirt + Soffe shorts = my gym attire.
I once saw a group of girls at our local gym waltz in wearing skin tight tanks, shorts short enough to show butt curves, hoop earrings, and carrying cell phones.
Did I miss the day when fitness centers turned into night clubs?
yoga pants + t-shirt + hair band
@tykoala@xanga - Definitely agreed. Shorts and a tee shirt it the most comfortable clothing. Also, I don't find clothing that's too loose to be comfortable. And girls that show up trying to show out, should just go home. It's a place of exercise and personal improvement, not a fashion show.
Hilarious & amazing! But I agree with @phuck_diz_shiz@xanga :)
shorts
shoes
and a tank or t shirt!
I propose that low-cut spaghetti strapped tank tops should be banned if you have a D cup or larger. My friend who frequents kickboxing with me has enough cleavage showing I can fit my cell phone down it. And I'm not exaggerating, either. I tried, it really fits. A blackberry.
I wear scrubs pants and a t-shirt. And hand wraps.
Could you redo this with more pictures?
There's this old heavy set man at my gym that rides a recumbent bike in a purple moo-moo dress with no pants.
i usually wear a relatively baggy t shirt and pretty short shorts (dont like to be constricted) but in the summer i wear tight tank tops more often (1/3 of all workouts) because of the heat. sometimes in the winter i wear sweat pants or capris, but not often.
The first pic-- totally horrifying D:
I can't believe that people can actually wear basically bras with underwire and think that its suitable for the gyms...tighty wighties....ew
For me, a t shirt and shorts or sweats are perfect for working out
I hate when those girls wear sport bras with spanx. My bottoms cover more than those! Including the slutty side-tie bikini bottoms. Also, the sports bras are always too small and create too much poppage. It bothers me. Sports bra and pants! Short shorts and a real shirt. Cover SOMETHING!
My workout clothes: tanktop with support, sport bra, and obnoxiously colored (or black if the shirt is already an obnoxious color) carpri sweats. Heck yeah.
I wear mid thigh shorts, sports bar with wifebeater over it. Usually I wear the wrong kind of shoes, meaning vans, I know I need to get better ones
Really good sports bra, capri exercise pants, and a tighter fitting running sweat-wicking shirt.
YAY exercise!
I hate people who wear scent to the gym. It makes my nose itch and when it combines with sweat smell - ewwww!
i love people who go to the gym in make-up and updos... i mean if your face hasn't melted off after a workout then you just weren't working hard enough. you aren't supposed to look good at the gym because it's not a freakin' beauty pageant. so if you are just going to use the treadmill as a moving catwalk get the hell off the machine and let someone use it who will actually benefit from it.
oh yea and people talking loudly into cell phones while working out...another pet peeve as well as another indication you aren't working hard enough
tanktop/big tee and shorts/sweats :]
a big fat guy who looks like ron 'the hedgehog' jeremy wearing cut off jean shorts practically buried within his butt crack. and im not a fan of ron jeremy or cut offs but i couldn't take my eyes off him.
huge t + short shorts
or tank top + short shorts
what do I wear to the gym? umm a pair of shorts with leggings (in the winter) or just shorts in the summer... with a baggy old t-shirt that says like some old softball team I was on or whatnot. And my nikes.
Sweats and a tank top.
@Lisa_x09@xanga - ha! that made me laugh. Doesn't it hurt her chest moving around without enough support?
i wear t-shirt or tank with sweat pants. not really even shorts. don't really own shorts actually... i hate my ass
"if the girls bounce like water balloons in socks then you've got the wrong kind" very true - whether your in the gym or not, wherever you are the girls should never bounce like water balloons in socks. hahah.
i usually wear shorts (either soffes-type shorts because i'm not completely hideous in them hahah or like basketball shorts) and a sports bra or tanktop. but i prefer a tanktop because in a sports bra i feel self-conscious about my chest (alot of guys... mostly creepers... go to my gym hahah)
FRICK! First picture NSFW and completely sick nast
i like to workout in like, tights and a x-large school shirt.
as long as the tights aren't see through , and fit properly.
workout outfit 1 : school gym tee , running shoes , tights
workout outfit 2 : lulu lemons , tank top , shoes.
depends whats in the dryer i guess.
i leave my hair down though , i find the fact that i sweat more that way more motivational because then i think i'm actually doing stuff. aha ,
i like wearing makeup though , dont know why .
@Passion_Star@xanga - I never really asked her...