Thursday, 02 July 2009

  • Putting On Relationship Weight

    I have been on this "Get Fit"regimen for almost 5 months now and as I've blogged previously, I don't see it as much as others do, but apparently, I have lost some weight. The clothes do fit better, sometimes it just hangs on me and I've dropped back down from a size 2 to a size 0.

    I've never been a stick thin girl and weight gain is pretty prominent on my frame as I've always been quite sporty and thus, not the average stick thin looking Asian girl around, but I am happy with the way my legs look. However, I have noticed this scary thing:

     I TEND TO PUT ON WEIGHT WHEN I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP.

    Ex boyfriend: Pre-relationship weight? 110 lbs.  

    After 3-6 months of being with him, I came to realize I had put on almost 7 lbs... AND IT SHOWED TERRIBLY ON MY 5'4 FRAME! After getting into a pattern, I went back to my 110 lbs.

    Next, college happened and I started to make full use of the awesome gym that OSU had and I was easily at 108 lbs on most days... that is until I got complacent and met my new (and current) boyfriend.

    Current boyfriend: Pre-relationship weight? 108 lbs.

    I've been with him for 2 years and after the 6 months and all the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year meals with his generous family, I timidly stepped on the scales and had the shock of my life. I was at 120 lbs. It disgusted me because the last time I was that heavy was when I was a fat kid that didn't care much about my weight!!

    I had to take things under control and start working out. So I did, we went to the gym more and started swimming more, ate more home cooked meals and sleeping at normal hours, spent more time running around with the dog, etc. By the end of the next Christmas (2008) I had gone down to a yoyo-ing 112-114 lbs. The losing of the 6 lbs was a whole lot harder.

    Now, we are apart doing a long distance relationship, but not for much longer. I have taken the time to run, do weights and more ab workouts. I have never been in better shape and I am less obsessed with what the scales read because I know my fat percentage has gone down and although I am at 111 lbs now, I know it's muscle I have gained. And I know that 110 lbs is probably my set weight so I am not that bummed if I can't get down to 105 lbs or something.

    However, I am worried when he and I are reunited. Will the excitement and adrenaline of being together again cause another weight gain for me?? Has this happened to any of you?


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Comments (37)

  • ordinary_gir1@xanga

    lol my theory of why people gain weight in relationships is because your S.O feeds you more on dates and such XD

    but thats just an inside joke of mine.
  • DarkButtercup94@xanga

    Pffft. You're a lightweight. Just stay on a workout regime and you'll be fine. =P

    In my experience, I've gained weight while I've dated my current boyfriend. But I know the weight gain is due to being out of college and in the 9 to 5 full-time work grind, sitting at a compy all day.

  • Manstration@xanga

    I'm 5'4, I don't weigh 110 pounds. I am NOT in a relationship and I am on a strict vegan diet and exercise regime. I also don't make it seem like the end of the world. But then again, I do have big boobs and a bubble butt.

    Okay, I knew there was something strange about the 110 pounds thing. Your BMI is .4 points away from being underweight. 108 pounds IS underweight. So calm down, and relax. Oh, and by the way: 120 IS NOT a fat kid weight for 5'4. 120 is the RECOMMENDED weight for 5'4. 

    If your metabolism is super duper quick, and it doesn't seem like that if you gain and lose so quickly and in strange patterns, that's great.

    Get your facts straight before you complain.
  • zretrareo27@xanga

    Man, I hate you. I'm 5'4 and weigh the same and I'm a size 7. Damn you asians.
  • kipahni@xanga

    I actually gained more weight when I was single- cause boo hoo no one to do things with I guess I'll just eat some ben and jerry's and watch friends reruns on a friday night.

    Now that I am married I have lost 50 pounds (in one year) because I cook at home and my husband and I are active together.
    However it is not un common for couples to gain weight because they become in a comfortable rut and stop working out-cause they already found someone so they don't have to try to look good for the other.


    It sounds like you are doing really consistant work out though so I wouldn't be too worried
  • fried_ryce@xanga

    hmm, when I like somebody and we're kinda just flirting around I tend to lose weight..
  • zretrareo27@xanga

    oh, and actually they did a proven study on this:

    Women gain weight in relationships, but men dont.Reason being?The average healthy woman is [supposed to be- the average living american womans like 150 or something] anywhere from 106-136 at 5 foot 4 inches. The average healthy male is alot bigger than that.Average woman need 1500-1800 calories a day.Average male needs 2000-2800 calories a day. By being around them, we end up eating what they eat, hence, eating more.I wish I had a link to the study, it was very interesting.
    I know I put on 6 pounds in this relationship, but I realized it and got back down to where I was when I first started dating.
    By the way, being 120 isn't all that bad. Its healthy, so don't worry too much over it. Infact, much lower and you're on the underweight side, and you risk hurting your health as well.
  • jzrocker@xanga

    yeah, that does happen. However, being with my bf has made me care less about my weight since he loves me and is attracted to me regardless of whether I gain 5 or 50 pounds
  • TemptingFate_Taz@xanga

    wow, 5' 4" and 120?? Jeez, I wish I was 120 and I'm 5' 3"! But I mean, different frames.. different proportions, so I can't really compare.. altho I'm sure you were still thin at 120.. 

    But yes, that has happened to me.. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years.. Long distance.. Once we started college, we started seeing each other more and more.. and we both put on a lot of weight!! We're taking this summer to lose weight and we've committed ourselves to eating healthier when we're around each other again.. haha.It's so easy to gain weight with your SO, I mean, first off, you are totally comfortable with them.. second off.. well at least in my case, my bf has always made me feel beautiful and loves my body at any weight.. (and trust me, I have weighed a LOT) - so I didn't have any pressure from him.. but we both wanted to get healthier and lose weight with vanity reasons being secondary to the health and fitness issues extraneous weight can have. 
  • arenfro@xanga

    I understand what it feels like to gain weight in a relationship--that's why my husband and I work out together now.  Something to think about.

    And just a small nag, but it may not be a good idea for you to be calling yourself a "fat kid" when you were at 120 lbs, which is still very much within a healthy weight.  You're sending the wrong message to a lot of young women (perhaps yourself included).  I understand people like to better themselves, but you could be causing other people a LOT of problems by saying this, so heads up.
  • miss_prettyinpink@xanga

    I totally know what you mean! I'm 5'4 and 105 pounds, but when I dated my last boyfriend I went up to 110-112. I hated it! All of my clothes were tight and they looked bad. After we broke up I made an effort to lose weight, and now I'm back to my weight of 105 pounds.

  • with_chafafa_on_the_side@xanga

    Oh my goodness. I do the exact same thing, almost. It doesn't really make me gain weight, but I do eat like crap when I'm with my boyfriend. Fast food, Chinese food, cookies, pop...ugh. And since I've moved back in with him, it's only gotten worse.


    But it sure is fun.

  • cutesycharm@xanga

    This is a silly post. Relationship weight gain is going from 110 to 150. Not gaining 7 pathetic pounds that can be lost in a month. 
  • JoeytheGenie@xanga

    lol. don't worry about it. 118lb isn't fat; it's a normal weight
    my friends like to say im still single b/c im so picky, one of my requirements is that the guy has to be able to keep up with me when i run
  • crushediamonds@xanga

    @fried_ryce@xanga - Haha, how does that happen for you??


    @jzrocker@xanga - Yup, that's very important to have a supportive bf! Mine is too except it scared me when he told me he didn't realize that it was THAT MUCH weight gain. I knew I had to change my lifestyle (i.e. eating habits and getting my arse off the couch. Hahah)


    @miss_prettyinpink@xanga - ^5 Totally feeling you there. There are some people who say I should quit complaining about a mere 8 lbs weight gain, blah blah. But it's my own body I am talking about so I think I know it best when I feel it is time to lose weight. And I hated that my favorite pair of jeans were soooo tight around the thighs for me. So I ended up using them as work pants for a painting job I was paid for. Guess what? I now fit into them. -_-


    @cutesycharm@xanga - I don't have enough weight to lose 7 lbs healthily in 1 month. But thank you for your input.


    @JoeytheGenie@xanga - Hurhur, not saying 118 or 120 lbs is fat.. but it definitely showed up rather unttractively on all the wrong areas for me. I wish I could keep up with the bf when we run, but I secretly suspect I am in better shape than him now. Hahah.
  • crushediamonds@xanga

    @Olyachka@xanga - Thank you for your input too. And I do know my own body. Fat percentage when I was at my heaviest 26%. BMI? That's nothing. I don't care about that. I do know my fat percentage has increased which is why I am into a lifestyle change now. And no, my metabolism is terrible and works the same for everyone in my family.
    FYI, when I said I was a fat kid... I meant it. I was 120lbs at 4'2 for 2 years. And that was because I ate all the junk food and didn't care much about gym class.
  • crushediamonds@xanga

    @arenfro@xanga - Thanks! Also just to clear up, I was a fat kid.. and I literally mean it.
    From 10 to 12, I had gained over 15 lbs and was about 120 lbs standing only at 4'2. (eeps!) So unhealthy because of the constant visits to MacDonalds and skipping gym. But I understand what you are trying to say.
  • arenfro@xanga

    @crushediamonds@xanga - Alright, thanks.  Also, you may enjoy this--it's actually an article about how this happens to people (who are married, but it's still relationships, still relevant)--http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1907143,00.html. 
  • crushediamonds@xanga

    @zretrareo27@xanga - Thanks for that info! I think part of me putting on weight was also because of the initial stages of being together, we would stay up till 3 or 4 and then have midnight cravings while watching a movie and not getting enough rest definitely messed up my metabolism and energy to go workout
  • this_girls_reality@xanga

    ha i totally know what you mean! ive been in a relationship for almost 3 years now pre relationship weight 120 on a 4'11 now im 160 horrible.. but im eating healthier and takin small steps to an active more healthier life.. and ive def gained the weight from being with him bc we always go out to eat and we watch alot of movies..

  • xjadersx@xanga

    Get him into the exercises with you, and cook together. Don't go out.

    I really need to get rid of my relationship weight too.

  • wannab_pretty@xanga

    same happen to me! i starting dating my current bf 6 months ago and back then i was 118.. and now i was 126 at 5'2, after complaining to him how i was so fat and ugly he was like " ok ur not fat ur not ugly but if u really feel that way, lets go workout! and eat better!" so since then ive lost 3 pounds so far! :D but i wanna get back to my goal weight of 110-115.
  • crushediamonds@xanga

    @this_girls_reality@xanga - Eating definitely plays a huge role in the weight gain dept! I ended up cooking most of our meals and it also helped us save a lot of money. :)


    @xjadersx@xanga - When with him, the cuddling on bed watching "The Office" was always so tempting. Hahah.


    @wannab_pretty@xanga - Good luck with the weight loss! :)
  • dolcecorazon@dollarish

    I sure did, but it was kinda his fault. His mom had connections with free food for Applebees, TGIF, Olive Garden, On the Border, McDonnalds, Chillis, so every other night we ate out because he wanted to spoil me. But, in the end we worked out together and lost our relationship weight together haha!
  • mewithoutu77@xanga

    damn, i'm asian and i'm 5'3 and i weigh about 120 and i think i'm ok with this weight.  i've never been one to be thin.  even when i'm in relationship, i still keep my weight at a regular 120.  i guess if your concern about your weight, maybe work out a little here and there.  when i was with my ex, we didn't eat out as much and we had our dates at the gym sometimes because we both were concerned about gaining weight.  throughout the two years we were together, i gained 5 or 6 lbs and then dropped it off and i'm back to my normal 120 but it fluctuates back and forth.

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