People who smoke and don't care what they are doing to their bodies, seem to have this attitude that why should you care? It's my body I can do what I want to it.
Yes. Yes you can.
Or, they have the attitude of, "I'm respectful, I don't smoke around other people."
That's nice. And those of us who don't smoke appreciate that.
But they don't stop and think of the long term consequences. No. They don't. They really don't. They say they do. They say... well, if I get lung cancer or emphysema it's my problem and no one else's.
Is it? Is it really?
Let me tell a story about my grandfather. My grandpa smoked just about his whole life. He smoked back before anyone knew smoking was bad for your body. He smoked because it was the cool thing to do. And then, once we started to learn that smoking was bad for you and started to get after him about it, he did not stop.
A few years later, he was diagnosed with emphysema. Now, for those of you who think lung cancer is the worst thing you can get from smoking, you are wrong. And I'll explain why, after I explain about what happened to my grandpa after he learned he had emphysema.
He kept smoking.
Only, he kept it secret from everyone. No one knew he was smoking behind everyone's back until one day, my grandma caught him in the garage, almost a year later. I don't know for how much longer he was secretly smoking for, but by that time, it was far far too late.
Emphysema is a disease in which a person can breath in just fine, but can't exhale properly. In essence, grandpa could not breath. He coughed all the time and made numerous other honestly disgusting sounds. Eventually, he weakened until he could not walk or be home alone for very long. Do you know who that affected? My grandma. My grandma's retirement dreams were destroyed, because she had to stay home and take care of grandpa.
And for some unexplainable reason, grandpa's sense of smell sky rocketed as his emphysema progressed, so grandma couldn't ever clean the house properly. She couldn't wear perfume. She couldn't wash her hair with strongly scented shampoo. Everything she used had to be unscented. And that went for anyone who frequently visited their house. Grandma also couldn't cook or bake anything, because it smelled to strongly.
Eventually, grandpa had to go on oxygen. He couldn't walk further than a few steps without having to take a break for 20 min to breath. He couldn't drive. Eventually, they couldn't go to my brother's races anymore, a rare and joyous event in both their lives.
So... if grandpa ever thought that his smoking was only his problem, he was wrong. Once his health started to deteriorate, their retirement money went solely into his health expenses. Grandma was house ridden, just to take care of him, even though she was perfectly healthy. Grandma couldn't do anything she loved anymore. She couldn't bake, one of her favorite things to do. She had to put up with his constant coughing, constant clearing of his throat, spitting and gagging and gurgling. I never spent more than 4 or 5 hours over there at a time, though I visited every day for many years, but I would cringe every time I had to listen to that. It was gross, and it was annoying, and I know he couldn't help it, but it was hard to listen to, even so. I can not imagine what it would be like to live with that, day in and day out.
So, for smokers out there, who think that their smoking habit is no one else's problem, think again, down the road, when you get a serious disease from your habit. Think about who has to take care of you. Think about who's money is being spent to help cover your health expenses. Think about who you are denying rights to go out and do what they want, besides yourself. Think about who you are hurting, besides yourself.
I loved and miss my grandfather, who died 2 years ago peacefully in his sleep, with my Dad and my grandma in the next room, taking care of him during his last moments. I helped him with his coin collection for a few summers when he knew that he didn't have the energy to do it himself. He knew he had to sell the coins before he was gone and they were left to someone who didn't understand the value of the collection. He was a good person, and my grandma loved him very much. No one is holding any grudges for something that got so out of control.
But for people who KNOW the consequences, but don't care, please think of your family who will bear the brunt down the road, when you can no longer take care of yourself. Please consider it. I just want to show you the other side of this coin. And it's not pleasant.
Are smokers aware of the long term consequences? Do you think they're selfish to not think about the long term impact on the family?
Comments (79)
What rubbish.
Well you know what? Smoking is an addiction. It may start out a conscious decision to do it, but it turns into a physical need of the body.
What a selfish statement, to say that basically, people smoke to hurt their loved ones.
I'm sorry you lost your grandfather, but it is not okay to label people like that.
I know how you feel. I lost 2 of my family members to smoking - my grandfather who died from lung cancer before I was born, and my uncle (who smoked PACKS everyday) died last year. My best friend's dad recently passed away because of metastatic lung cancer... it hurts me a lot to see her go through such a devastating loss. I hope that smokers are aware of the long-term consequences.
both my parents smoked, and they both stopped cold-turkey when they became a family and wanted to have children. i refuse to believe that anybody is not strong enough to stop smoking when it's hurting somebody they love.
great post.
@annah_bananah@xanga - yes. that is exactly what I'm saying *sarcasm*... maybe read the post again.
Well, I apologize, for sounding so rude in my comment. I read your post again, and I see what you mean.
The reason I so hastily responded like that is because I am a smoker, and I've been trying to quit. Not only that, but I am in school for respiratory therapy, and see first hand on a day to day basis what it does to the body, family, friends, etc.
I was thinking from the point of I am trying to quit, and even though I do see all of these things, this addiction still has such a hold on me.
Please don't judge me for this hypocrisy in my life.
@SwearNoAllegiance@xanga - is there some particular reason that you think it's rubbish to hold this well-reasoned opinion garnered from experience, or do you simply say that because you are not willing to take the time to respond with a well thought out, impartial, and supportable argument - or perhaps out of disdain or pride?
Great article. I totally and completely agree. I've also lost family from lung cancer brought on by smoking.
The worst argument I've gotten from a smoker is that "it doesn't matter whether or not I smoke, if I'm going to die I am going to die, people who don't smoke get cancer, it's all in your genes anyway". It frustrates me to no end and is very obviously just an excuse to not have to give up their beloved cigarettes. It is flat out denial, it's been medically proven that people have died from lung cancer due to smoking when they wouldn't have if they hadn't ever smoked.
Addictions are hard but if someone cares enough about kicking the habit, they can do it. I think a lot of smokers (and addicts in general) that can't kick it, don't care as much as they think they do or say they do. Or maybe they are in denial about just how bad it really is for your health, or they think they will be one of the people who lives to old age despite smoking. I don't think they ever really seriously stop and consider what it IS more than likely going to do to their families.
Be prepared for some nasty comments. I have yet to meet a smoker in person or online that wasn't downright nasty when you dare to speak against their precious habit. Someone can be the nicest person in the world but if they are a smoker, it seems like most of the time they turn into the nastiest person in the world when the topic turns to anti-smoking. And smokers are some of the most self-righteous people I've met, too. "I can do what I want, blah blah blah". The only smokers I've seen that didn't turn nasty were the ones that long since kicked the habit. I know I'm generalizing, but it's the fault of all the smokers I have interacted with for giving the entire smoker community a bad name with their attitudes. I lost my patience with smokers a long time ago.
Personally, I think it is a little selfish to be concerned with monetary issues and such after someone gets a disease, but I guess I understand your point.
It is an addiction, and it can be very hard for people to quit. I think most smokers know that they are hurting the people around them, but it is probably very hard to admit.
I also just try not to worry about things like that. My mom never smoked anything in her life and she ultimately died of lung cancer, so you really can't control everything in life. I'm just going to worry about myself and if someone I love needs to be taken care of later on in life for any reason, I'll gladly do it.
I am not a smoker, by the way.
My husband grew up in a house in which both of his parents smoked; they started smoking only outside, then smoked everywhere. When I first met him, the house WREAKED of smoke. And since before I met him over 8 years ago, he's had a persistent hacking cough thanks to the constant exposure to cigarette smoke. He has numerous health problems, including asthma and chronic bronchitis, because of the exposure. He's afraid to go to the doctor for the cough out of fear that any more serious damage may have been done. And before you say "Well, that's because they smoked in the home," studies have shown no difference in smoke exposure in children whose parents only smoke outdoors and those who smoke both indoors and out. It gets in your clothes, in your pores, in your furniture, in your car -- everywhere you are, you're bringing your toxins with you.
Whether it's a physical addiction or not, when your own actions put your children's long-term health at risk, it's selfishness. People CAN quit. I'm happy to say my mother-in-law quit two years ago, on my birthday, for both of us and her grandkids. This is a woman who would smoke a pack a day for over 20 years. If you think your family is worth it, you make the sacrifice. If not, then you ARE being self-centered. It makes me incredibly angry that the father of my kids will always carry the physical burdens of his parents' bad choices, that his life could potentially be shortened because they didn't care enough, soon enough.
I know countless people who have died of cancer, died horrible deaths and never smoked. Their families have genetic markers for cancers and have a higher predisposition to cancer. I know others whose families are cancer free and have smoked.
I am a former smoker and one thing that always irritated me were the smoking nazis. Many times they themselves use or abuse other substances , such as drinking alcohol, perhaps even getting drunk, placing themselves and others at potential risk.
I quit for me. Part of the reason I quit was the government was making a ton of money off my so I gave myself a tax cut. The addiction is very real. But what has our government done and what culpability should they share in part of this addiction problem? The tobacco companies paid out billions to state governments but if you want to quit smoking, the state has no money set aside for smoking cessation programs, no they went and blew the money.
I quit twice on the patch. The second time I really wanted to quit for me. I always smoked outside of my own house. The only place I ever smoked under enclosure was in the garage or under our lanai .It was looking at my daughter and wanting to be there for her. It also created a problem with some people at church. When I took it all as a package and the fact I no longer really enjoyed smoking, I quit using expired patches I had bought three years before.
No applause for me. The amount of anti-smoking sentiment in the country does more to put people off than get than anything. Of course, if everyone quits smoking, there will be a economic impact as well, a giant loss of tax funding. Kiss the new chip funding good-bye as well.
In a time when we are going to start cutting back on healthcare for the elderly, maybe this could be a new way to get them to suffer a while longer without approved procedures since they wont be dying from smoking.
When I quit drinking 15 years ago, I flat quit. I went to 2 AA meetings and said if I have to go hang out with people who whine about not drinking everyday, I would rather go to the bar and drink juice and listen to the juke box. Not all people have that amount of determination and that strong of a will or are that resolved to do something that your body is resisting. The same with smoking.
I am also employing a large amount of sarcasm in this response but there are nuggets of truth contained in them. The best thing someone could tell a smoker is they love them and hope they are around when they are older.
I agree with you completely. I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather, I know how that feels too.
(This may sound harsh, but it certainly isn't meant to be. I can't really bring myself to mince words when I feel this is an important topic.)
I don't know why people keep saying that some people who don't smoke get cancer and that some people who do smoke don't get cancer -- it's silly, because it has no relevance.
@Lushy@xanga - I think it's perfectly ridiculous to deny the way death and pre-death care affect families. It causes many things, and, yes, money is one of those things. It's not selfish to realize this; ignoring it is simply stupid.
@ProvokingThought@xanga - Smoking Nazis? That's hardly an appropriate term; were they doing more harm to you and your family than you were doing by smoking? Whatever the habits of these "Nazis," it absolutely does not undermine the anti-smoking point. That you would even bring up "smoking Nazis" suggests that you think it is relevant to the conversation, and the way in which you presented it makes it seem as though their existence strengthens you and your argument. I assure you it does not.
"Use or abuse"... this is absurd. Simply using alcohol is not inherently dangerous, whereas I would argue that there is no responsible cigarette-smoking (if there ever was, the art has certainly been lost).
@SwearNoAllegiance@xanga - You sound dandy. What exactly is your problem?
I'm sorry about your grandfather, that is truly awful. I wonder the same thing, really. I think they know the risks most of the time, they just think that it won't happen to them. Not particularly thinking about it in a realistic fashion.
please. you can construe this anyway you want. people who speed don't care about their familiies. people who become police officers don't care about their families. people who don't vote don't care about their families. maybe you should mind your own business and let up on the relentless judging of others. is it a crime to leave somebody alone?
There are so many other things to care about instead of smoking.
I personally don't. My parents do. And many other people I know.And they're far better persons than much other. Because they read books and newspapers. Because they are interesting people. Good actors. Or doctors. They do their job with passion. Or study very hard. Or whatever.Then... you complain about smoking?It doesn't put in danger anyone's life (just yours if you smoke). It can be annoying, altough if you don't smoke indoors or in front of other people it's very hard to disturb anyone who is not psychotic about smoking.Mind your business, learn to be tolerant.
If you have so much to complain about smoking, I assume you don't see other real problems around you. Get a life, huh? ;)
very smart post. i have a bog published in lovelyish and every bloody smoker there HATES me. they hate me, i tell you! and it's so immature and so not intellectual for them to hate on me when WE are the ones who should go hating on them!
@Valerio - @nolan_kun@xanga - Read my previous comment -- smoking DOES hurt those around those who smoke. Children of mothers who smoke are at increased risk for life-long illnesses that can potentially shorten their lives and reduce the quality of those lives. Children of smokers are also more likely to become smokers themselves at a young age. Smoking marijuana is less of a risk for those around the smoker, as the carcinogens in such second-hand smoke are nearly nonexistent, whereas cigarettes have over 250 known carcinogens. If you think second-hand smoke is innocent, you're either ignorant or in willfull denial. It's not a matter of "judging" or being mean; it's a simple fact, established by numerous fields of science. The fact that a few people may or may not outlive their smoking habits or that nonsmokers may get cancer is anecdotal and irrelevant when the evidence shows conclusively that smokers have a higher risk of numerous diseases and that second-hand smoke is nearly as dangerous as smoking itself.
I am ALL for victimless actions. Want gay marriage? Me, too! You want to drive without a seatbelt? Good for you! Want to have a few drinks! Go for it! Want to smoke a joint? Have fun! Just don't put others' lives or health at risk in the process. Don't make, or let, others pay for your bad habits or addictions. Don't punish your children or spouses because you don't feel like changing your lifestyle.
@JadedJanissary@xanga - where's every one at 2nite i can't find anything good to discuss?
@nolan_kun@xanga - Yes. You can construe this to anything. And it's an interesting thing to think about, really.
However, I am talking about a personal experience, in which I saw my grandpa's smoking hurt not just himself, but take away my grandma's freedoms that she could have had at that age.
I'm showing another side of a coin that I feel a lot of people who smoke don't even consider. Is that JUDGING? I don't see anywhere in here where I am judging people who smoke.
I personally, don't think that I could handle taking up a habit that has such a high chance of giving me a serious disease that would cause family members to have to give up dreams. I would feel like a big burden to people.
@Lushy@xanga - Of course there is more going on here than simply monetary issues. And in fact, I would argue that it is one of the smaller problems. And I think one of the biggest problems is, yes, we all feel obligated to take care of sick family members. And we would be horrible to not be willing to do such a thing. I agree with you on that. But what gets me, more than anything, is if someone chooses to take on a habit with such a high risk of developing a fatal disease, they are also banking on family members to use that obligation. I don't know if that makes sense, but its sort of playing off of that natural instinct of family members to take care of you, in something one could have prevented in the first place by not smoking. Or if previously smoking, making a big effort to quit.
That and... it's easy to say that we'll gladly take care of someone now. But if we ever have to, for years and years, and not be able to leave the house... it's hard. My grandma has got to be one of the most selfless people on the planet, but every once in awhile, I watched her break down from such sadness that she was always stuck in the house, couldn't travel like she'd hoped she and grandpa would do in their older age. Sad that she couldn't do something as simple as baking a pie without making extensive plans with her sister in law to drive out to her house and do any baking over there. And unfortunately, when he eventually died, she began having her own health problems. It's very unfortunate for her.
@annah_bananah@xanga - I do understand how hard it is to quit. I've seen a lot of people try to quit, and I know it's hard. I'm currently on a medication that has quite literally got my body addicted to it. If I forget to take it, it is physically painful for me. That usually takes about 2 to 3 months to get off that medication. I can't imagine what it's like for someone who smokes. But really, the purpose of this was to show people another side of a problem, that I think isn't thought about much.
my dad quit for my family, because he cared about us more than his habit
I smoke. Its not the only thing that someone can do to hurt their family. What about you? What do you do to your family that hurts them? Everybody does.
@nolan_kun@xanga - Is it so wrong for her to not want to see someone else go through the same pain as she did? What she says is very true, and I don't think you can really appreciate what she's trying to tell you unless you've had a family member pass away/almost pass away because they were addicted to smoking. Also, the police example is uncalled for. A good police does selfless acts for society, helping make the world a little better for their family. What does dying of smoking and immensely affecting their family say about a person--especially if they were begged by their family to stop?
@fivetenfifteen@xanga - Maybe you didn't mean it this way, but by saying everyone does something to hurt their family makes it sound like it's ok. What some people do won't affect their family the same way death would--i.e. dating someone your parents don't approve of or choosing a major they don't approve of...both of which I did. In no way do those things compare to my father almost losing his life thanks to smoking. I don't think I would've enjoyed being fatherless at 20, nor would anyone else. So he's not dead now, but I and the rest of his family constantly worry he will be one day because complications keep arising. You can't even compare what I put my parents through to what my father has done.Â