"It's official. You are the whitest person on the planet," Gym Buddy Dennis said to me after we finished Turbo Jennie's annual outdoor birthday TurboKick extravaganza tonight (seriously, it's her birthday and she brings us treats!).
As I stood there, sweating so profusely in the near-90 degree weather that my shorts looked as if I'd peed myself, Gym Buddy Megan agreed, "Yeah, when you got here, the first thing I saw coming out of your car was your legs and I was like 'Hey, there's Charlotte!'"
Dennis and Megan - you know I love you guys! - are right of course. I'm so pale that I forgot my costume one year for Halloween and everyone just assumed I was Wednesday Addams.
Being ultra pale has some advantages. First, I can rock a retro dress like nobody's business (not that I have much occasion to get all Dita Von Teese'd up but whatever, I make my own occasion!) Second, I never have to worry about buying reflective gear - all I have to do is wear shorts and I'm set. Third, people can use the word "porcelain" and my name in the same sentence without it involving a frat house, a keg and a carpet stain.
The problem comes when I'm not dressing for a garden party or a midnight run. You know, like, the rest of my life. Let's be honest: tan is in right now. Certainly ivory white skin has had its time in the sun (har!) in past generations so I'm not begrudging the bronzed folk their turn. But a tan is definitely this season's must-have accessory. Not only, as every magazine will tell you, does it make you look thinner (question: does that mean being white makes me look fatter?) but a golden glow makes you look healthier, shows muscle definition better, camouflages cellulite and looks better in casual clothes.
What's a (really) white girl to do?
I'm not going to skin cancer, I'll tell you that right now. It runs in my family and it's nasty stuff. So you can just rule actual sun kisses out. I suppose I could keep my legs covered but I tried that as a teen when for two summers in a row I refused to wear anything shorter than ankle length. Eventually I caved to comfort and decided people could just deal with my legs. That's what sunglasses are for right? Besides, tonight I was doing TurboKick. Outside. In Minnesota. In the summer. If that doesn't give everyone a free shorts pass, I don't know what would.
Another option I have is to self-tan. This is not as much fun as it sounds. In my mind that phrase conjures pictures of having the ability to change my skin color at will, like a chameleon super power. In reality it involves spreading a bunch of foul-smelling goo all over my body. And it must be all over my body because seriously what is the point of having tan legs if my arms, face and chest are white? The next problem is that self-tanning is an under appreciated art form. You have to smooth it on just right, making sure to use even strokes and skipping your knees and ankles so that you don't end up with streaks or orange spots. I always admire girls who can do it and do it right. I suppose I could always pay for a spray tan but that comes down to the real reason I don't self-tan: you have to maintain it. The definition of futility is spending your entire life literally painting your skin a different color than the one you were born with. To wit:
Was that really necessary?At the risk of sounding like a Dove commercial, the only real solution in my book is for people to be comfortable with the skin they're in. Are you naturally brown, ebony or any shade in between? Rejoice! Flaunt it! Be proud of that your skin is beautiful without having to do a thing to it. Heaven knows it's taken society long enough to get to this point. But the flip side is also being able to embrace your epidermis if it is milky, light-n-freckled or downright fish belly.
I'm not saying it's easy. We all have things we don't like about ourselves. In fact, I've got so many things that bother me about me that I rather think you all are beyond tired of hearing about them. But you know what doesn't bug me? My skin. I dig it.
Do you have "a flaw" that you actually love? How do you feel about tanning?
PS> Was that, like, the most alliterative post title EVAH? I done myself proud:)
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Comments (360)
Pale is the way to be :D hehe
i have freckles so I don't tan well at all, i'm pretty much fine with it though
I see people at the pool who are usually white but they've tanned so much they look black. It's kinda gross in my opinion.
I was born with a natural tan. :D
Tanning too much is disgusting in my opinion. It increases the chances of skin cancer significantly. When I spend time in the sun, I slap on SPF 50 sunblock and reapply as needed. A nice bronze is ok, but for the most part, tanning looks fake and so many people I know who tan look much older than they are (wrinkles and it looks like their skin is leathery). I like being pale. :D
I love my pale skin ... I go out of my way to avoid the sun! I wish I was paler, actually... I believe white, white, white skin is gorgeous. Others may see it as a flaw - I embrace it.
I wish I were like you! I mean, comfortable and all. It seems that pale skin is starting become 'in' in some senses, (thanks Twilight!), and I've tried to embrace my pasty complexion but I still find myself going to a tanning bed. People ask me if I'm sick when I don't go. And for some reason I feel like my eyes look funny when I'm pale. What pale skin has to do with my eyes, I'll never know. But for some reason they just look weird. Hah =P Great post!
I don't consider my skin a flaw. It's pale in the winters and tannish in the summers since I go to the beach and hangout with family outdoors a lot. I love my skin either way.
opalescent. (adj) showing varying colours as an opal does.
opal. (n) a gemstone of hydrated silica, typically semitransparent and showing varying colours against a pale or dark ground.opals are not actually white; they appear more similar to rainbows. next to black they look pale and next to white they look dark; this is why they look rather magical. not exactly a good word to describe pale skin... perhaps a pearl would be a better comparison if you want to compare being pale to being like a stone?
I don't think that guy's picture makes a good case for being pale. Or tan, for that matter.
I don't mind being white. As many severe sunburns as I've had, and skin cancer that runs in my family, I'm an advocate of hats, sleeves, sunscreen, SPF70 and staying as white as possible. Glow in the dark works for me.
<red head.....enough said
I love being pale. I feel bad for all the people tanning like crazy. In a few years, their skin will pay the price.
i kind of wish i could be paler
i tan really easily - a 10k+ run will darken my skin by a shade {or more depending on the time im running and how bright the sun is shining}
i have such nasty tanlines it's not even funny....
lindsay looks so much better with a tan. tan is hot pale is just like hard on the eyes and reminds me of old people lol its just the thing its pretty and fun and warm!
i love being tan. and those ignorant people who are surprised by the fact that asians tan...yes we do.
we have naturally darker skin but we do tan and when we do its more bronzey and we have this gold glow to us....i love it.
and during the summer i try to stay tan throughout. i just layout for like 20 min three days out the week and i have this nice golden tan. :)
makes me feel healthier and prettier.
and dear lord....that old guys tan line is HORRIBLE
I like my paleness. It makes people talk about me. :) Besides, I think I look prettier with my paleness than with a tan.
@brittany302@xanga - are we looking at the same picture? she looks so fake. you can tell it's not her real skin tone...she looks very orange.
@x__RainOnHerParade@xanga - so? she looks pretty there not like a piece of paper. like hot actually! well hot guys like tan girls, ugly guys like pale girls!!!
@brittany302@xanga - "hot guys like tan girls, ugly guys like pale girls" What the heck? That is not true at all. Are you calling girls that are pale ugly? How can you tell what someone looks like just based on their tastes in women?
You know what? I don't mind being pale. I don't really care that being tan makes you look "thinner", in reality you're not any slimmer.
I have had random people tell me to get a tan before, that was annoying.
Why can't we just accept the skin color we were born with?
i love my pale skin its beautiful!! and i boys have told me that orangy tan people are just a turn off. personally i don't have an opinion on tanning because i can't tan and i definitly don't want to pay for tanness lol ;)
@just__one__me@xanga - ok ok! well thats just mostly how it is. @babygirllll4@xanga - what kind of boys are you talking about?? hahahahaahahah dont want or cant.
I am pale and LOVE it, I don't tan, I use tons of sunscreen. I don't even use self-tanner or bronzer. I don't see the point in harming me and my skin to be tan, just because others think tan looks better.
I'm african american. Girl be proud of your milky skin, it's yours! The thing about trends is they go in cycles. Tanning will inevitably be untrendy one day again, and maybe trendy again thereafter.Â
If I were of caucasian decent I would never go to tanning salons. I hear it's expensive, and I'm wayy too frugal. lol. And I don't particularly like basting in the sun so sitting outside all day in the sun won't happen either.Â
hey, pale is on its way back in, mark my words. one more thing you can thank stephenie meyer for. :]