(Image unavailable to do extreme prejudice. I searched for an hour and couldn't find any unoffensive pictures to appropriately illustrate this story. Which is a story in and of itself.)In one of the saddest examples that perverts will use anything to justify their crimes, a pastor (a pastor!) recently explained that the reason he molested a thirteen-year-old girl on an airplane was because
"she was a big girl." The girl, "Emily", was flying home as an unaccompanied minor from a weight-loss camp when Jackson Senyonga, a pastor of over 1,000 churches in 4 countries, decided to take advantage of the child traveling alone. He even went so far as to ask to be seated next to her at the beginning of the flight. So what was it about Emily that made her look like a good target for a pedophile? Senyonga could have said a lot of things - that she was obviously alone, that she was young, that she was female - but the excuse he chose was that she was fat.
I have heard many sad accounts of women and girls gaining weight after being abused as a way to shield and/or comfort themselves but this is the first time that I have heard of the reverse. Diabetes, heart disease, asthma and other health issues are known effects of growing up overweight. In addition, overweight kids often carry a social stigma setting them up for abuse from their peers.
Research - not that we needed scientists to tell us this - has shown that overweight children are targeted by bullies more often than kids of a normal weight. Anecdotal stories and dozens of teen-lit books (anyone else remember "Nothing's Fair in Fifth Grade"??) add further evidence of teachers, parents, siblings and even strangers using a child's weight as an excuse to abuse them in some manner.
It has
gotten to the point where teenagers who merely
think they are overweight (whether or not it is true) are more likely to attempt suicide. Being overweight also increased the risk of suicide. But the group of teens most at risk for killing themselves? Overweight teens who are very conscious of the fact they are overweight. And sadly, in our society there is no shortage of people ready and willing to tell a kid she's fat.
The point that rankles me the most about the pastor is that he somehow felt that a girl's weight made her less human and therefore deserving of being sexually abused. It was as if he thought he would garner more sympathy from a public that is notoriously fat phobic. "Wait, the chick was chubby? Well then it's all right!" There is a bright side to this depressing bit of news: Emily, despite being just 13, had the presence of mind to jump out of her seat and tell a flight attendant who then notified authorities. This "weak, fat" girl was strong enough to do what many victims do not and stand up for herself. I think this bodes well for her.
Reactions to this story around the internet are varied - some have suggested that this is a call for tough "love", that this is one more reason why we can't let our kids become overweight or if they are, get the chub off them by whatever means possible. Others suggest singling out overweight kids for special empowerment classes, essentially warning them early on that they are more likely to be victims of abuse. But many many others are quiet. Too quiet. Why aren't more people talking about this?
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Comments (14)
That's pretty sad. I'm going to admit right now that I haven't clicked the links or read any articles but maybe the reason he chose to target her wasn't necessarily her weight, but more of the idea that because she's fat she'd have lower self esteem and be more likely to allow him to abuse her.
It's really sad and disgusting that it's gotten to this.
On one hand I do not think we should begin to accept obesity into our society. It is unhealthy and in my opinion we should teach kids that they need to keep trim and healthy. It's in my head that if we accept obesity then it's another reason for kid's and adults not to care about their weight or health.
But at the same time, we should try to teach them that being fat isn't some sort of disease. It's nothing to laugh or bully others about. It's nothing to ostracize others over.
her being overweight did not force that guy in any way to abuse her. the correct response to this situation is not "solving obesity". i'm not sure what it is, but shouldn't people be more focused on the actual crime that was committed and not focused on the lame excuse the pastor gave?
Had she been thin he would have used another excuse. What we need to do is pass laws that are much more strict on rape and child molestation.
We should give all kids (not just single out the heavy ones) empowerment classes and try to educate them on telling an adult if someone ever violates them (just like that girl had enough common sense to do). Better yet, try to encourage kids to get away before it happens.
IMO, all the people that freak out about gay marriage and giving birthcontrol to teenagers need to redirect their energy to break up child porn rings and to put the pervs that run them in jail.
The most disturbing thing I've read this month. Disgusting! Why are these people not punished more severely?
ugh...this digusts me. a pastor? it sucks knowing you can't trust anyone these days.
He would have just found another excuse to make it her fault if she were not overweight. In this case, it's not the child that needs to be educated and informed about what can happen to her, she clearly already was. All kids need to be informed about the effects of bullying and abuse. We need to have stricter punishments for child molesters and pervs.
This made me cry because it sounds a lot like me when I was a young teenager and preteen. Men and boys thought it was OK to just abuse me because I was chubby. They thought it was OK because I had boobs and looked a bit older.
I had a realization in therapy a few years ago, about my weight issue and mental health issues, and it came down to the fact that I wanted to eat to ease the emotional pain brought on by sexual abusers, who abused me because they thought I was worthless. My sisters father being the primary abuser, and my mother being the 2nd in line. I suppose subconsciously, that I thought eating would make everyone just leave me alone in my own corner, and that if I were unappealing, they wouldn't hurt me.
I agree with most everyone else, even if she wasn't overweight he would;ve found another excuse. Good for her for standing up and telling someone; what an awful thing to happen. Another good lesson? Don't let you young teen kids (especially girls) travel alone.
What kind of airline sits old men next to unaccomanied minors?
I don't know what policies are like in America but on every airline I've flown with in Australia, the unaccompanied minors get their own row right at the back and the flight attendants hang out with them.
I'm not trying to shift blam away from the molester but... I don't know. I just thought it needed to be said.
As a predator he probably meant that overweight children, would be a sign of insecurity, low self esteem, and other personality traits that would make her easy prey.
The criminal mind doesnt look for victims that would scream, fight back, report the issue, etc. So that cuts out children who might be popular, have confidence because they are in sports or clubs, children who express themselves well and can carry their own around adults.
The child that walks alone, carries themselves like they are sad, or show any other outside signs that they are easily manipulated... are big flags for predators.
To be honest, singling kids out for special classes is discriminatory. We talk about people as being overweight as if it is a defining factor of who they are. This post in particular sounds "shocked" that an overweight person can have strength when in reality they're no different from anyone. The pastor was a pedophile who has probably preyed on children of many shapes and sizes. THe fact that this story is being glorified because the child is overweight is serving to make weight a bigger issue than it really is. Yes, it's an epidemic, yes it's unhealthy...but it doesn't make a person who they are. People have become so obsessed with this sort of thing that it's almost as if being overweight is like being a different race. *gasp* a fat person stood up for themselves? well *gasp* Frederick Douglas could read. We're all human. We're all capable of the same things. This child is a victim, NOT a Fat-Victim.
nobody talks about it because they are they don't know how to help and even if they did they are to chicken, using the "oh, well its not my problem, its theirs" shit
been there, done that, will go back if i have toAll my life, I have been told that I'm fat. First is was my mother, who was waif thin. I wasn't fat, I really DO have a large frame with wide spaced bones and large muscles.I was molested in childhood, and after that, I comforted myself with chocolate and other excess carbohydrates.
Once the fat arrives, it does not want to leave. It doesn't help anything to say it unhealthy! We already know that! We want help, not recriminations! The same diet does not work for everyone. For years, people told me to eat vegetarian, because it really helps. Fine. I gained weight because I was starving all the time. I'm allergic to milk, wheat, barley, oats, aloe, and various fruits. If I want protein, I have to eat meat. Ironically, my husband is allergic to meats! We can share a salad! Hahaha!
My point is, that no diet is good for all. All unhealthy people, whether over- or underweight, have to eat more greens, more whole foods, more fruits, and fewer processed grains and fats. I may be obese, but I know MORE about nutrition than the average joe on the street! It's because I've spent my life trying to lose weight and stay healthy. Now I have two very different children. Everyone is DIFFERENT!
One child eats her vegetables, trys new and healthy foods, and exercises regularly. Like me, she has the genes for big muscles and widely spaced bones. She 'looks' overweight, but it's muscle from years of intense work outs.
The other child eats junk despite my best efforts. She won't touch vegetables, plays video games, disdains exercise, and is generally lazy. My husband's aunt was a model, and child 2 has that model's build.
According to some comments I've read, child 2 is healthier than child 1. I should post pictures.
I know for a fact that being abused may set up a child to be overweight.