This comic is the first in a series drawn by professional comic and GFE reader N8 (sound it out) especially for The Great Fitness Experiment! I can't tell you how excited it makes me that I have my own illustrator - I'd put it on my business card if I had any. Look for more funnies from him in the future!It all started with a bag of sugar-dusted gummi fruit and a handful of chocolate chips. Well, actually it started last night when I stayed up until 1 a.m. working on my book. Okay, technically it started last weekend when my son got sick and had me up five times a night. Or maybe it all began 6 months ago when I got pregnant and morphed into a sleep camel. No wait, I suppose it really started 7 years ago when my first child was born. Whatever. My point: I am severely sleep deprived.
Insomnia is not my problem - I'm practically a narcoleptic triggered by pillows - it's just that nobody around here wants to let me sleep. But today has been worse than normal. After clocking just four short hours of sleep, I was up for the day with a two-year-old who thinks just because dawn happens around 5 a.m. that that means the day starts at 5 a.m. Puberty will fix that, I'm sure, but in the meantime I'm stumbling around the house in a fog trying to remember if I have to cook Cheerios.
As I sat down to eat my totally unappetizing breakfast of oatmeal and egg whites, the first craving hit. I wanted candy. The straighter the sugar, the better. "Ah," my brain quickly observed, "you are exhausted and so you are seeking the sweet sweet love of simple carbs!" My brain is smart. My flesh? Not so much. I grabbed a gummi orange, licking the sugar off my fingertips. "Don't do it!" my brain screamed. "Don't fall for his slick come-on! He'll lift you up just to drop you like a rock once the fun is over! It's the carbohydrate version of a booty call!" My eldest smacked his brother who retaliated by throwing a fork. The baby cried. I bit into the candy slice. "It'll only make you feel good for a second! And then you'll feel like crap." What a rush! "Remember what happened last time you did this!" my brain cried frantically in one last ditch effort to save me from myself. "It doesn't have to be this way!" I ate the candy. "You slut."
Sure enough, I rode the blood sugar coaster of doom all morning long, barely making it through my body pump class and then home again where I decided I would atone for my confectionery transgressions with a healthy lunch. Plans changed however when a dear friend who moved out of the country last year showed up for a surprise visit. The afternoon quickly passed with much laughter but without food. By the time she left I was cross-eyed with weariness. I put the early-rising munchkin down for a nap and then crashed myself. Only to be woken up 20 minutes later by the elder two fully dressed in swimsuits, goggles and grins. "Swim lessons!" they screamed. They were right. Curse the teacher who taught them how to tell time.
I dragged out of bed and changed into my suit. (Side note: hell is shopping for a maternity swimsuit. What is with all the skimpy bottoms? Do they think just because we can't see our thighs anymore that we'll somehow forget to look in a mirror? I hate you Liz Lange.) Then I dragged the baby out of bed which did not please him one little bit. By the time I'd gathered all the gear necessary to take 4 people swimming (incidentally also the same amount of gear required by the Swiss Army to invade Lichtenstein), I was ravenous and ready to sleep standing up. But we were late!
What's a healthy snack to grab on the go? Almonds? Fruit? Jerky? Gummi candies and chocolate chips of course! I guilty washed it down with a piece of cheese one of my kids had left on the table from lunch. My fate was sealed. Today had officially become a Jelly Bean Day. In case you missed the festivities last time around, the celebration of all things sugar lasts all day finally culminating in a grand symphony (candy bar pun intended) of screaming, crying and then a sugar coma.
I should know better. I knew exactly why I was craving all that sugar - everyone knows that being tired give you the sugar shakes. And I knew exactly what I should have done to remedy the situation - eat a meal with protein and healthy fat and take a nap). I even knew exactly what was going to happen because of my actions. So why didn't I do the right thing? Apparently being tired also makes me a poor decision maker.
Help me feel better - have you ever torpedoed your healthy goals, fully aware of what you were doing and yet you did it anyhow? What do you crave when you're tired? What do you do to avoid having a Jelly Bean Day?
Comments (11)
This was so well-written. I enjoyed it a lot. Despite not having kids, I can empathize. I have a really hard time telling myself no to sugar and yes to sleep.
yes, you must be a writer. nice post. thanks for making me laugh and feel a little better. i'm probably better than my family but when they leave out temptations---things i'd never buy or pick out while we're grocery shopping---curiosity gets the best of me because i haven't had it for so long. but there it is! a greasy slice of pizza, some potato chips, some cheesy leftover. and then just after a few nibbles i feel it's futile and it can only get worse. *sigh* i'm with you. my advice? definitely start your day out right. eat the wholesome, satisfying breakfast that'll keep you thinking clearer when you need to make decisions later on what to eat. but it's hard for me to put myself in your position. you're a busy mother who doesn't get much sleep. so when you wake up in the morning (or when you're dragged from your bed), groggy and overwhelmed, decision-making is an arduous task.
do you really not like your usual breakfast of oatmeal? go for something that'll be more of a challenge to your sugar temptations! find something you like that's healthy and filling. i just fell in love with low-fat cottage cheese. it's really kicking these cravings i have late in the day =) and it's so versatile. if i want something filling---sandwich. sweet---fruit. adventurous? spices for a spread!hahaha omg this happened to me the other night. I have the like pecan covered nougat egg that we always buy arounf easter time...u know what im talking about. a huge egg shaped thing of amazing sugary goodness!! lol
well im on my period...and i was cravinggggggggggggggg the sugar it was also really late at night and even though I knew I was really tired and be falling asleep soon i decided to eat the whole thing. and as I was sitting there i was telling myself you're going to regret this when your done...ur going to hate yourself in the morning...what are you doing. stop eating it.
while the other side is saying eat it. eat it. eat the whoolleee thing.. who cares.
ugh...sucks
You are such an enjoyable writer.
As for getting sleep to avoid "the sugar shakes," I'm sure it's really hard being pregnant and having other children as well (I hear you don't sleep with little ones!) However, a yummy, sweet and not-bad-for-you treat that helps hydrate is the Archer Farms flavored water--0 calories, no carbonation, and delicious. You can get it at Target in 4-packs for less than $2. My favorite flavor is blueberry tangerine, and my husband likes kiwi strawberry. I have avoided several "jelly bean" days by carrying one around with me whenever I need something sweet. And the bonus is hydration!
I crave Brie cheese. It's a weirdly specific craving that can be filled by nothing else but than a slice of that delicious fuzzy white mold-covered gob of yellow fat. Mmmmm.
I also crave chocolate, but then again who doesn't?
Simple carbs such as white flour are one of my worst enemies when I'm tired. I just want to get a waffle and douse it in whipped cream and maple syrup.
To help avoid having a "Jelly Bean Day" I drink *artificially* sweetened liquids such as Crystal Lite.
Great post. Typical me this is, you know. just one, then another, and another and another :o. jaffa cakes, almond rounds, pringles, sweet pretzels. JUST ONE MORE
shaun
stayfitbug.com
Very well said! I totally understand. I'm very sleep deprived and sugar and me go hand in hand often. Example of this morning. Ate a very large, very chocolate croissant. Yum....
Other days I have an ice capp, a full bar of chocolate, cake, the list goes on. To aviod such days, I try to plan a meal in advance, throw away (or give to my brother) any chocolate or sugar related items that I know I am going to crave.
Usually if I do get really bad cravings, which is pretty much everyday, I eat some smoked almonds or some fruit.
honey. Yes you are, but i mean the stuff. We have bee's on my parents property and the man is so grateful we put up with avoiding the area all year he gives us around 30kg of the stuff a year. I teaspoom drizzled over yogurt is divine- its highly flavoured with the natural eucalyptus flowers (not the processed honey muck!) and packed full of a bunch of stuff, even if it wasn't, it still is enought to get me through exhaustion until i can sleep without me having to commit 'carbicide'.
but then again, I dont have kids...
i'll get back to you in a few years...
this happens to me all the time! i never really associated it with lack of sleep actually... i have always loved sugar! =/ so... i have been oblivious to captain obvious. i think i need to sleep early tonight and get back on track tomorrow.... hopefully. :) thanks for the post.
I almost always have a Jelly Bean day. I just ate a couple mini Gobstoppers, a mini Butterfinger, mini Snickers, a capri sun, omg..
:( STOP ME, IM GETTING FAT. I HAVE ARM LUMPS LIKE A FOOTBALL PLAYER..
"NOO!" By the way, I love your sense of humor.