Friday, 14 August 2009
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Are You A “Bumpaholic?”
I’m in no position to say whether I agree or disagree with this article from Women’s Health Magazine, but I found it somewhat interesting.
Well, I’ve heard a lot about various addictions, like drug, alcohol, exercise addiction, and others, but apparently, there is such a thing as a “pregnancy addiction” as well. (I guess “Octomom” wasn’t the only one).
Before I read this article, I assumed “bumpaholism” was mainly due to an excessive love of children, or a desire to create a big family. Well, I’m sure a lot of women DO want to have babies primarily for these reasons, but I never would’ve thought women wanted to get pregnant for these reasons, too: that is “to have a purpose in this world” and “to feel less lonely.According to Keith Ablow, M.D., Boston psychiatrist and Fox News consultant, “some women seem to view having more children as an alternative to addressing their own personal problems,” such as deciding on their careers, problems with their marriage, or even questioning their self-worth.
Beverly Hills psychiatrist Carole Lieberman, M. D. also says that “the baby fix can become a cycle. When an infant becomes a more independent toddler, the mom may feel abandoned and act quickly to fill the void again with a new baby who will rely upon her and her partner and define their lives.
Like I said, I am in absolutely no position to say whether this is true or not, but wouldn’t that be a little bit irresponsible to your children? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying these moms are bad or anything, but you can’t ignore other potentially problematic issues such as financial difficulties. If they are financially stable and so forth,, then that’s great! But if not, wouldn’t that be a bit of a problem when it comes to raising their kids?
What do you guys think? Are you or do you know anyone who has a lot of kids? What are your/ their reasons for having so many?
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About the Author
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- From: kimjh125
- Name: Joo
- About Me: I'm a runner and a health fanatic. I currently live in NYC.
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Comments (26)
I had to stop reading this after I saw the words "Fox News." Sorry.
I can see how this would happen. I mean, having a life dependent on yours COULD become an addiction, sort of like some people constantly find themselves in intimate relationships with a person who can't pay their half of expenses.
I mean, there are those teens that you see on Maury who are all like "I really really want a baby. I sleep with 15 different guys a day so I can get pregnant."
So anything's possible...
I also saw a story about this on the Today show a few days ago. It didn't give me any new information.
I can see that. I don't know where I agree with it or not, but I've heard women say that they wanted a baby so that they had someone to love them. I'm not sure how accurate that is on a wide spectrum, but it's plausible.
Yes, there are women who are "addicted to pregnancy." It may be the hormones, it may be the positive attention they get while pregnant, or it might be various other reasons, but yes it happens. I've known about this since my first college Family Studies class, so that magazine is a bit behind.
i could see how some women would feel that way. My son is 18 months old now, and I really miss having a baby. He doesn't want anything to do with me most of the time. I don't miss the symptoms of pregnancy, but I did love the way I looked for the middle 3 or 4 months. haha
Some people really love kids, and think they don't need anything but love. Unfortunately, they don't have enough money to support them very well.
Thats horrible. =/
@ashiri7016@xanga - hahaha, magazines are always behind.
at first when i saw the title im like bumpaholic.. so you love bumper cars ??? O.o . then i saw the pregnant woman, and i was like OMG, BUMPING YOUR TUMMY INTO THINGS WHEN YOURE PREGNANT.
then i read the blog, boy was i wrong XD
HAHAHAHHAHA !
@C0ll33Ncorps@xanga - I second that.
- Kunoichi
I've heard of this, and I know someone who is like this....she gets pregnant every 18 months. She's now on number 7. It's a little crazy. I like being pregnant, but I won't have more kids of my own to do so. I would love to be a surrogate instead......maybe someday.
If they're having kids for those reasons.. it's foolish. Those problems are the kinds of problems that should be taken care of BEFORE you have kids.
Maybe some girls want to be bumpaholics to have an excuse to not work??? I can't work honey cause I feel sick all the time or I'm getting so close to my due date. Then there's I can't leave my baby alone because I breastfeed and pumping takes too much time?
Maybe, I'm just really cynical.
I've known some women like this: their entire purpose in life is to have babies...
Most of the women I know with lots of kids do it for religious reasons. Children are a blessing from God and you shouldn't use birth control, that kind of thing. I think there are moms out there who like the dependent infant thing though.
i could see how it could become addicting. pregnant women and new mums get soo much positive attention from the public, their child is beautiful and relies on them for everything, so they feel wanted. when they get older and the attention stops, and the child isn't so relient, then you feel lonely again. i can see the thought and emotional process of wanting another baby.
thats really sad :(
what about the women who are addicted to the money they get from state assistance?
i had a friend who tried to get pregnant because she wanted to be the center of attention, she wanted to prove to her family that she could be a better parent than either of hers were, and she thought having a baby would give her extra time to avoid being an adult. then after her baby was born, she fell in love with all of the money she gets from state assistance (she gets a lot of help from the state for being a single mom with a terminal illness that qualifies her for social security benefits), so she got pregnant again, looking for more free cash instead of a job so she could take care of her kids.
growing up as the child of a pediatrician, i've always been the babysitter for my friends, even my teachers and coaches, and it literally breaks my heart every time i hear a story about children born to parents who use them. i'm not saying that all "bumpaholics" are like this; on the contrary, i'm saying that most aren't. it's just so sad when a child is born, not to be loved and appreciated, but to be used.
I love babies but a) when I have kids, I want them to be approximately three years apart, and b) unless you have the time and money to take care of those kids like they deserve, then it's a terrible thing. I'm not saying you have to be wealthy or even well-off, but you have to be able to feed and clothe them. And you need to love your kids even when they're not exactly babies anymore. I half-think that these moms just randomly stop ignoring the older kids when they've finally become toddlers and beyond
when are you having the baby
I do know one woman who loved being pregnant. She didn't keep getting pregnant adding to her family because she knew they couldn't afford it. Instead she became a surrogate and helped other families.
The Duggars come to mind...
So what would a girl (not me, one of my ex friends..) be called if she lied to everyone so much about being pregnant, and she really isn't or ever has been. She goes around telling everyone that she's pregnant, & does this after every guy she dates. I think she's convinced herself that she is pregnant because she has a name for her lil fake baby.
yeah this isnt any surprise. Ive also seen dovumentaries on women who are having babies just for that reason. their single feel like they have no purpose and with this baby they finally feel like they are important because for once in their life another person is depending on them for their survival.
Some women have babies to try and solve their personal issues because by having a baby its something that is THEIRS. something that is trully theirs noone can take it away from them and the only person they feel who would have unconditional love for them.....
yes it super sad cause these women are often very deoressed and suicidal. I can understand how someone could feel this way but I dont understand why they feel another person to take care of and have to worry about would make the wuality of their life better....
I dont think they really think about what having a baby reeeaallyy entails.
HELL NO!!!