Friday, 02 October 2009
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A Response: "I Have Unprotected Sex"
(This Healthkicker user wishes to remain anonymous)In conversation, I told my friend about the post that Healthkicker wrote ("Has the Media Played On Our Health Fears?") that had a message they received saying "90 people got swine flu and everyone wanted to wear a mask, but a million people have AIDs and no one wants to wear a condom." I was surprised when she laughed at me and said, "That's true, and my guys don't wear protection either."
Not only was I completely surprised, but I was completely disgusted too. "YOU DON'T WEAR CONDOMS?!" I asked her. She shook her head no and tried to explain to me that, because she was on birth control, she didn't think that wearing a condom was necessary.
I tried to explain to her that birth control doesn't protect her against STDs or HIV/AIDs, and she said that she knew. I asked her, "Then why do you have sex with guys who aren't wearing a condom?" She told me that she knew "all of them were clean," and that since she had been tested, too, she knew she was clean as well.
I couldn't seem to get through to her and explain to her that just because "someone says" they are clean... doesn't necessarily mean that they ARE free of STDs. I tried to tell her that some STDs have little to no symptoms, and that some STDs can go undetected for weeks or months before ever showing up. She didn't seem to care about this and just kept telling me that she was careful and that she "knew for sure" that the guys she slept with were okay.
Now I think it's okay if you are having sex in a committed relationship and decide not to wear condoms as long as you have both been tested and are both okay with the option of getting pregnant. But to be single, sleeping around with whomever, and to be having all unprotected sex... that's basically suicide to me!!
In the world that we live in today, why would people think that it's okay to have unprotected sex with different people? Are you afraid of getting STDs or HIV/AIDS?
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Comments (153)
Of course I am, so I'm gonna be quite careful when I begin my sex life. People do this stupid crazy shit because they believe they're invincible and nothing bad is gonna happen to them. Turns out in one too many cases they're dead wrong.
If it's with the same person, it's fine. If it's like a different guy every other night, then you're gonna be having some problems...
What a bunch of sluts. Wait until you are married to have sex, stupid whores.
I told my boyfriend that when we're married and I'm on birth control that we don't have to use condoms. He's been tested (he's clean) and he's my only sexual partner and we used protection every time. I haven't been formally tested, but I have donated blood and had blood tested, so I know I'm clean.
I'm definitely scared of STD's and pregnancy, and everyone should use protection until they are in a serious long-term relationship.
That is so no smart it's unreal. To willingly expose yourself is not a very intelligent thing to do. I don't understand her reasoning.
Ahahhaha, what a gullible idiot. No offense, but don't associate with idiots!Â
I'm a firm believer in using condoms whether you're on the pill or not. I think a lot of people carry around the mentality of "Well, I won't get an STD" or "I won't get pregnant." What about the people who did get an STD or pregnant? I'm sure they thought that exact same way. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years now, and even though I'm on the pill he still uses condoms. We use condoms because it slims the chances of getting pregnant even more. Both of us are free of STDs so those aren't an issue.
Mm yeah no way in hell would I allow some guy I hadn't been with for a year or so to go bareback. I dated my last boyfriend for three years, and he only got to go bareback several times, and never until he came. =X
My guy and I have been together almost 4 years, plus I'm on birth control, and we still wrap the willy. I'm 24 and he is 31. we would love to have kids, but now is just not the time. STD's aren't a worry for us. everything has come up clean at every test, and neither of us have been with anyone else since we got together.
It would never occur to me NOT to use a condom and I have an IUD.
I agree with what you say completely. But isn't college life is like that? I mean, I lived in the dorms before. Yeah yeah, you may once or twice sleep with some guy you meet at the party, and you can be sure that you're on the the pills and it's college, you already know all the risks. But I think that it's the risk that we take that leave such experience, regardless positive or negative. I'm also in a sorority. No offense to anyone in any sorority, but most of the girls here take off their clothes any chance they get. I'm not trying to justify neither myself nor the act, but my personal judgement is that as long as you know the guy well enough, you can have fun with him without the whole stage of "dating" or getting-to-know-each-other for 2-3 months before you can do it. Free will, ain't it? However, I don't condone this "practice" every time and all the time, since it's very dangerous as you stated. But if I've known the guy, heard about him, talked to him times before etc ( in a way that he's not someone close to me but not stranger either and I feel safe enough to trust him)... I don't see why not.
And I know how idiotic it sounds, but if you bring up the same questions to any college girl that lives in the dorm (okay, I may be exaggerating here), they'd have react the same way. Some would be smarter obviously, since condoms are passed freely here now and then.
I can't believe how many women have wanted me to have sex with them and wanted me to NOT wear a condom. I'm seeing that there are so many women that have just no sense.
AIDS/HIV doesnt always show up right away. Some people can have the disease for years & not know it. Sometimes it doesnt show up on the first test either. That's why they encourage people to retest. I think for females, it should be standard for yearly GYN check ups & not requested. It's become such a problem now that people are unknown carriers & that's how it keeps going on.
Sadly it is the society we live in, studies show that something like 40% of teenage girls use NO kind of birth control at all, nothing to prevent STDs or pregnancy.
Many are like your friend and just live in denial and think "it won't happen to me"
Kinda why the teen pregnancy rates are so high too
I agree with you. People are just careless. It's just appalling. Thus, casual sex is a NO NO. Freak. We're not vampires or monsters. I duno. maybe they get diseases too...dangs who knows. Human can get sick and die. +_+
I'm not afraid of it because I've been with my bf for over 4 years, but if I was in the dating world and sexually active I would DEFINITELY be demanding they wear condoms. I mean it's not just fear of HIV/AIDs, but what about herpes (also incurable) and HPV (which can cause cancer). Then there's chlamydia and gonorrhea which can cause infertility and syphillis which if not treated soon can have seriously degenerative affects to one's nervous system.
I don't necessarily agree with casual sex, but if someone's going to do it they need to do it responsibly.
yes. i'm afraid to die a virgin.
I feel like some associate STDs with sexual perversion or promiscuity. The fact is, of course, ANYONE can have an STD. You only need to have sex once.
And the pill isn't even 100% effective. My aunt feel pregnant with all three of her children while she was on the pill! She had a medical condition she didn't know about which made the pill ineffectual. Further more, even if the pill IS effectual, all you have to do is vomit at the right time, experience diarrhea at the right time or miss a day, and you're unprotected by the pill for the week afterward. Hell, you could accidentally throw up your pill the day AFTER you have sex, and still get pregnant. Sperm can survive for up to three days on it's own!
@RoastedMarshmallow@xanga - wooow. this is scary.
thats how shit like ghonnerea and the clap spreads....HPV....you're just asking to get warts. Think of it like this. If you know that guys has prob fucked your sisters and....the population of the other sisters from other sororities. not ujsing a condom is like hooking up with all 25 other girls....one of which very well may have a STD. maybe not HIV/AIDS...but something like what I listed above.
one of my gf''s who had the same outlook on sex ended getting the clap....and after that i thought completely different of her.
like none of this scares you? the risk of cervical cancer scare you at all? it may not affect you now whe your young but 40 yrs from now when u go to thr gyno and the doctor find cancerous cells thats when you youll regret what you did and then sit there and wonder...
"what guy caused this?"
answer: ALL of them
My friend got HPV that way...she's on birth control, so the guy didn't wear a condom...and guys who have HPV don't show symptoms or anything. Now, needless to say, she has to have her guys wear them so she doesn't spread her HPV.
If I were single there is no way I would be having sex without a condom. That's just craziness.
darwinism. aids/hiv will kill off the stupid.
can someone slap sense into my sister? her boyfriend has herpes and they don't wear the condoms because he takes his meds and they don't have sex when there is a flare up. IDIOT. she also believes that since they're in a 3+ year relationship and eventually get married, she doesn't care if she gets herpes because she loves him *lots.* he got it from his ex who didn't know she had it because she thought "it'll never happen to me cuz i know what i'm doing."
its not ok by me, i will never sleep around.
if someone chooses to, that's their choice. i dont really care if they get an std, because obviously they aren't that concerned them self.
Eew. The consequences of not being cautious, careful to protect your future, and realistic are harsh, but probably not unasked-for. It's too bad people have to learn the hard way what they should have already picked up in sex ed at school.
There are a few cases where STDs are entirely not consequences of the person's actions, such as in cases where a baby picks it up during birth from the mother or when an STD is contracted through rape. That would really suck.
My bf and I lost our virginities to each other, and we've both been tested anyway even though we didn't need it. We still always use condoms and birth control since WE DON'T WANT BABIES!!!
It seems like all this should be common sense...it's mind boggling, really.