Thursday, 15 October 2009

• Ten Weird and Wacky Fitness Crazes

  
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  We’ve all seen those late night infomercials for weird fitness products that promise to “whittle your waist” or “trim your thighs” while you barely lift a finger. Admit it- you’ve found yourself wondering a few times, "does that really work?” Even the most dedicated health nuts among us sometimes long for a short cut- that one magic product we can buy or workout we can do that will keep us svelte with little to no effort on our parts.

  Here is a look at ten of the wackiest fitness trends ever promised to whip us into shape!
  
  1) Vibrating Belts: In the 1960's, vibrating fat belts were considered the height of physical fitness. All you had to do was strap yourself into this contraption and stand there while it shook the fat off of your body - or until you were silly enough to believe that this was an effective method of weight loss, whichever came first. The women of the time thought that these belts were just great!

  2) The Hawaii Chair: The Hawaii Chair’s motto is “if you can sit, you can get fit.” It’s essentially an office chair whose seat spins and vibrates to keep you constantly off balance. They claim that you can use it in the office while you work, but this clip of Ellen DeGeneres testing it out on her show tells a different story. The Hawaii Chair may not be an effective fitness tool, but I got a pretty good ab workout from laughing so hard at this video.
  
  
  3) "Beat Up Your Boss": I swear that this is a real fitness class offered by Crunch Fitness. You can’t make these things up people. You and your boss attend lunch hour training sessions for two months before getting into the ring and, well, beating the crap out of each other. (Warning: Do not attempt to re-create this class on your own. I’m pretty sure that you’ll be fired.)
  
  4) Richard Simmons: It is beyond me how the short-short wearing, oldies dancing, extremely high-strung Simmons became an aerobics guru, but he did. It is possible, however, that Richard Simmons was a genius that was way ahead of his time. As Simmons would say, “You go girl!”

  
  5) Pyramid Power: The 1980's saw a renewed interest in all things Egyptian (just think of the Bangles’ timely hit- Walk Like an Egyptian). People have long believed in the special power of pyramids to somehow channel energy. 1980s entrepreneurs capitalized on this by selling Pyramid tents, which promised to balance your natural energies and encourage weight loss if you just sat under them each day. Newsflash: all tents are shaped like pyramids. So basically, they just sold regular tents, but jacked up the price. Brilliant!

   

  6) The Thigh Master: Come on, you knew it had to make this list. Who can forget those weird clips of Suzanne Somers sitting alone in a formal living room, joyously squeezing her thighs open and close? Or the 60-something-year-old surgeon who claims, “I recommend it and use it.” There’s a mental image you want imprinted on your brain. What is hardest to believe is that they started selling the Thigh Master in 1991. By that time, we had sent multiple people into space, developed personal computers, and eradicated small pox, but we were still willing to buy stupid crap off of the TV.
  
  7) Plastic Wrap: Blame it on Rocky, but ever since the release of the 1980's classic, people have turned to some of the drastic weight loss techniques employed by boxers and wrestlers. The most popular technique is to wrap your body in Saran wrap while exercising. There are two main problems with this weight loss approach. First, the weight that you lose is just water weight so it will come back as soon as you re-hydrate your body. Second, you look really, really stupid while doing it.
  
  8) Body Juggling: The Body Juggling website describes the program as combining, “the effortless and fluid movements of Tai Chi with the flexibility and strength training of Yoga as well as the balance and dexterity of Acrobatics.” I think another good name for this workout would be, “Follow your cat around the house and try to do whatever it does.” I must admit, the man in the video is pretty impressive, but can you seriously imagine doing this workout at home? Your downstairs neighbors would hate you.
   
  
  9) Bikram Yoga: While most gyms try to keep the exercise space at a cool temperature to prevent people from, I don’t know, passing out, Bikram Yoga has chosen to go in the opposite direction. They heat their yoga studios up to 104 degrees in order to cause maximum discomfort. I actually do Bikram yoga occasionally and I have to say, the heat does have a lot of benefits. However, there is a point in every class when I can’t tell if I’m crying or just really, really sweaty.
  
  10) Pole Dancing Workout DVDs: I get why people love their pole dancing classes. It takes a lot of strength to hang your entire body weight from a pole. I think I could even be persuaded to try a class, but at-home pole dancing DVDs are where I draw the line. Because then you have to install a stripper pole in your house. And that’s just weird.

   

   

  What are other wacky fitness crazes? Have you ever tried any yourself?

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