Tuesday, 20 October 2009
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What's the Deal with Never Being Skinny Enough?!
While looking for posts to vote on, I came across and read a post by a girl who was 15 who wanted to lose weight. She said that she wanted to lose weight because her mom wouldn't let her. Her weight at 5'9 is 115lbs, and she was very desperate to figure out how to look good again in her cute jeans.
Now, lets take a minute to look this up. If you go to any basic BMI calculator you would find that the BMI for a 5ft 9 in person at 115lbs would have 17 BMI. However, anything under 18.5 is considered underweight. She wants to get back down to the jeans that she was wearing last year when she was 94lbs. How scary is this?!I don't want to bash this girl, but is this really what we are teaching our kids? For the sake of looking good in a pair of jeans we will try to get ourselves to anorexic weights?! I often wonder how we are supposed to communicate to our kids what is truly beautiful. This girl dieted to get to 94lbs from 120 the year before somehow. That is a 15.6 BMI and 18.5 is considered underweight! How sad and scary at the same time!
What do you think you would say to someone who might have an eating disorder? How could you know if your friend, child or someone else you knew had an eating disorder?
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- From: therantingprophet@revelife
- Name: therantingprophet
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Comments (20)
i was anorexic. i liken it to alcoholism. it's a daily struggle. i have a daughter and i would hate for her to develop it. this is why i eat now. i want to set a good example. i'd be so devastated if she ever developed this disease. and of course i'd do everything in my power to help her. thing is it's difficult to deal with those who have an eating disorder. you can't just order them to eat and snap out of it. they don't see it as a the problem, rather it's the solution to the problem. there are many psychotherapists who deal specifically with eating disordered clients. i would look up someone in our area and research their background. if it's a life-death situation the person must be taken to the hospital immediately. sometimes it's hard to see if it's an emergency before the person actually collapses from starvation. there are many symptoms to look out for: withdrawing socially is a big sign. they want to avoid social situations where they would have to eat. let's face it, many times parties have lots of food and people watching you. anyway, there are lots of resources for those with EDs.
I don't know what I would say ( at least not in precise words ) to someone with a possible eating disorder. I don't relate all that well to the girl you described, since my anorexia is more about anxiety over food--not weight. The weightloss becomes a symptom of the disorder, not the focus of it. But it is different for everyone who struggles with eating issues, I would assume. Mine just happen to have little or nothing to do with my appearance.
I guess what I would do is offer support, and if I was close enough with said individual, I would share my experiences if it seemed appropriate.
As for how you can know if someone has one? Eh, simply observe them, I guess. Some signs are pretty apparent. And they can become more obvious when the disorder worsens.
I remember when i was 5'9 and about 132, and i felt chubby. My mom who is about 5'5'' is about 120 lb, and she looks so thin. So a 5'9'', 119-lb girl is going to look like a stick. That is not fat, and she'll fit into any jeans. It almost makes me mad.... I would kill to have such a body and yet that girl thought she was fat. Pfft...
p.s., the mirror reflection girl is really cute. The one with her back facing us would be too, if her bones were not sticking out so severely o.o
People are beautiful in their own way... =\
The signs are usually pretty clear if you know what to look for. If that girl's only motive to lose weight is simply "to fit in 'those' jeans" - that's really not descriptive of anorexia. Sure her weight goal is unhealthy according to BMI standards, but does she even know that? Eating disorders actually have little to do with "dieting" and a lot more to do with control. Weight and numbers comes into play when the person suffering sees obesity and lies when looking in the mirror - rather than a thin frame (which often, but not always - they have). My BMI is 14.4 - I have anorexia. I see the statistical data and KNOW this is underweight..but I tell myself I am an "exception" and 89lbs on MY body is overweight. Eating disorders are tricky..her mother definitely needs to keep a close eye on her and prevent her from damaging her self esteem any further.
Eating disorders are hard to diagnose and are best left up to a doctor. And I also think that just because she wants to fit into her jeans isn't not a big clue of her possible anorexia. I hope that's not the case... it's not pleasant. :\
we are our greatest critic. it's because we think we're never skinny enough.
I think "never skinny enough" is being pushed by the media and promoted by our culture more. I remember when I was a little girl, my mom used to watch E! and stuff like that and whenever they'd mention celebrities they would always talk about the Perfect Size 6. A size 6 back in the 90s was touted as the ideal size. We had models like Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, and Christy Turlington, etc. Sure they were thin, but they also looked healthy and like they worked out to get that way. Now the models you mainly see are the same height but now a size 0. Size 0 is the new size 6 and that's scary. I'm trying to lose weight but with my hips and bone structure I will probably never be that small. No offense to any naturally small framed people but most people cannot look like that and shouldn't even try. It's not okay because a lot of people would have to resort to extremely unhealthy eating habits to get to the size that is considered acceptable these days. It scares me because I have an 8 year old sister that thinks her stomach is too big when she shouldn't even be worried about that.
i dont know wats wrong with me really.. i just know i have so little control over my eating habits somehow.. like.. i dont pig out on junk or anything.. but... wen i do seem to have control its when i dont eat anything at all... maybe two days in a row...
i'm just really scared of carrying so much weight... seriously.. BMI 18.5 is nice.. but i still have a bulgy tummy that seriously feels like tofu -.- HELP!!!!!!!!
okay so this is the third time this has been posted.
let's give it a rest, i think everyone has read it.
For me it started with wanting to lose some weight, but ended up being all about control. The rest of my life feels so out of control...and the weight thing was something I could do, one thing in my life I could address on my own. And when it started working, when I saw I COULD succeed at something, make a real observable alteration of something in my own life..it was intoxicating. But life continued to spiral around me, and I became more and more dependent upon this one little area of control...and people noticed and praised how I looked and my self control, and now I totally freak at the idea of losing it...and the methods I use and need for control over my body size and the food I eat gets more and more out of control. And I have all these little rituals, etc.
And it's something no one can take away from me, when so many things I love in my life are being taken away...no one but me has control over what I eat and my body size. And there is this terror inside that if I don't give up food, don't give up this one thing, then everything I have is going to be taken away from me. It's like I am bargaining with god.
Anorexia is complex. If it's all a person feels like they've got, they aren't going to give it up, and the more YOU say to them about it, the harder they are going to hang onto it and defend it, because it feels like you are trying to take their last straw from them.
Like any addiction or compulsion we can and will only give it up when we truly perceive that it no longer serves us, and that WE want something different for ourselves. I'm not there yet with anorexia, it serves me. It's a coping mechanism that strokes me in all the right places, and YES, America's obsession with thin IS one of the strokes I get. The fact that I can wear and look good in skinny clothes and that people envy my body is tremendously satisfying. But it's about way more than how I look, it's about how I perceive myself.
sometimes I want to disappear, so I won't feel so hurt that people don't see the real me.
When people ask me how much more weight I am going to lose, I tell them "you can never be too thin,too rich, or too sexy... in America"
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - I think they must not be getting a lot of material to work with.
What's sad is that teenagers seem completely oblivious to the fact that puberty causes them to grow! If they are the same size they were last year then something would be very wrong!
UGHHHHH. I was really hoping healthkicker had moved past these "skinny enough" posts. They're really gettin' stale.
blame the barbies and magazines!
No comment.
@Yukihimekumiko@xanga - I'm 5'9" 118 lbs and I have love handles and a pooch. So no she wouldn't necesarily look like a stick.
I don't know... Some people are not satisfied. It's the disorder. She probably does not see with her own eyes.
Who is to blame? We can't blame everything on the media. Besides, most girls and women aren't even anorexic, and a lot of these girls who attempt to become anorexic fail. Also, there is a certain genetic predisposition to anorexia or any eating disorder. Environment can also play a role -- Does the family instill perfectionism? A lot of anorexic girls are pressured to get straight A's and be in all these school clubs. It can also be used as a form of control.
Image is everything, apparently.
Nice article thanks for sharing. I agree that BMI calculator helps determine the weight you should be to be healthy