Tuesday, 08 December 2009
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Your Loneliness May Be Due To The People Around You
I know a cold or yawning can be contagious, but loneliness? Apparently, it CAN easily spread just like a disease.
According to a new study, “the solitary feeling can even spread one more degree of separation, causing a friend of a friend to feel desolate” (Source from amNew York). The study, which, collected data from over 4,000 people and lasted for more than 10 years, found that lonely people are more likely to make others feel lonesome even if they don’t have direct contact with them.
I think it’s SO true how people generally prefer to be with those who have positive and upbeat personalities because being around them automatically makes you happy and cheerful, too (At least it does for me).
Do you agree with this article, or does being around lonely people not affect you in the least?
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Comments (17)
It could, but if I am lonely and people want to avoid benig with me to not feel that way, how will that ever cure my loneliness? Seems a bit... off.
uhh, no.
i'm lonely because i've been an only child all my life, never had pets, never had a decent/close relationship with my parents, and don't have the luxury to spend time with friends.
also, i'm single. ouch. :P
I definitely agree.
sings the police "So lonely, so lonely, so lonely, I feel so lonely, I feel so lonely!
I think i'm lonely because i have no car,not in school yet,live on the computer,and too insecure to ever make a relationship last yet i dont reflect that when i actually go out with friends. I never loathe over how lonely i am or how i long to have a reason to smile cause i dont wanna be a debbie downer.. Loners can influence the thoughts of you being lonely yourself cause they may make you think back later and put in your mind that you're alone but other than that people dont hangout with people who throw pitty parties for themselves so..no
I think that sadness in general is something we tend to shy away from. Especially the extremely sad people who tend to get little joy from anything in their lives even the good things. I think of them as Eeyores, They seem to focus on the negative and that constant downer is hard for their friends to take on a daily basis. It's sort of offensive when you keep doing nice things and trying so hard and all your friend wants to do is look at the negative, "Oh look how lovely the flowers we planted are!" ----- "They'll all be dead soon, why bother?" it's hard not to see them as ungrateful. On the other hand people who are happy draw others to them because that feeling of happiness is something we all want, they have it and we hope it will rub off on us. Their positive attitude especially if it's in spite of hard times makes us long for their company almost like a drug. They are our uppers.
I'm not lonely. I just don't like being around people.
I do like being around people that are happy because they make me feel happy.
But people who are lonely shouldn't be avoided just because you might catch it. If they're lonely then they probably need you now more than ever.
lonely?? no but sad...emotions are contagious.
thats why i try to counteract it with a positive bubbly attitude...hopefully making them feel better.
I'm not sure...
I think a lot of people who feel lonely are afraid to open up to people- this could be for several different reasons. Maybe they've been through a lot of abuse and are afraid to open up and let people talk. maybe they don't trust people because of abuse. I think THOSE are the people who truly feel lonely because they feel misunderstood. Or maybe they just had an awful break up with a boyfriend and feel like no one will understand.
when people close off from others, friends and family sense it. They feel alone because the other person doesn't share their true selves with them.
Am I making any sense here?
Well, being around positive people is great, but I think true friendship also involves continuing to be with people even when they're not at their best 24/7. If you just leave someone alone because they're not "fun enough for you", it will only worsen their loneliness and send them spiraling.
Trust me.
misery loves company.. but birds of a feather flock together so i can see that
I agree with tsh44 - I think constant negativity is poison for the soul. Its also a trap that is difficult to get out of once you start becoming negative. You have to strive against it even though its hard. It tends to bring other crap into your life too. My 5 cents:))
i am overly sensitive so unfortunately other peoples' moods affect me greatly. well i guess it is not always bad come to think of it when i am around happy people i like their mood to rub off on me.
I completely agree with this. When I'm around somoene's whose upset, I will try and cheer them up, but if I can't. It just starts to drag me down and I start feeling all crappy too. The people around you really do affect your atmosphere. I have a best friend who is often upset and feeling depressed. If I'm around her a lot.. she can also drag my mood down. I have to try extra hard to stay happy and try to get her to keep on feeling happy. haha. Good blurb of information. :]
Jess!ca.
@Blonde_Nightmare@xanga - I agree with her.
It can be true, but i usually just tend to feel like i don't fit in with most people...some people tell me i do it to myself, but they don't understand. Because even if i try to fit in, it does not always work. The funny thing is, i grew up with an older brother, and was always close to my loving parents. Of course, it probably didn't help that my brother was some antisocial sociopath weirdo; i'm sure he was a huge influence on me. but I'm the lonely sort. Though i do have like a few close friends, a lot of distant ones, and i'm surprisingly not single. I found someone who appreciates an awkward girl. But something might be wrong with his brain too!