Monday, 20 December 2010
The PostSecret secrets haven't been too health-oriented lately, so when I stumbled upon this gem, I was surprised at how hard I was hit by it.
The truth is that I am, in general, a guilty person. If I don't call someone, or if I forget something that someone tells me, I get the worst pit in my stomach and an overwhelming feeling of guilt. I hate being "that" person. But my guilt is especially bad when the holidays roll around.
Christmas has always been important to me. It's marked great times of happiness and extreme points of sadness for me, so the fact that I have any Christmas spirit at all is sometimes a shock to me. Regardless of painful points marked by boughs of holly, I perk up every December 1st and get in the holiday mood. So when I fight with a friend, or forget about something important to someone, or find out that someone was sick and I didn't know, I actually can't control my guilt.
I end up overcompensating for my guilt by bombarding that person with apologies, or love, or gifts. I hate the idea of someone being mad at me, but I hate it even more when it happens during the holiday season. I adhere to holiday traditions with my family even when they conflict with my social life because I'll never be okay with seeing a sad face from my parents. I bend over backwards for friends who I may not see all year long just to make sure that they're happy for New Years Eve.
I like to travel during the holidays, but I loathe the holiday guilt trip.
So secret keeper, I would hate to receive a Christmas card from you. Sometimes people can't fit all that they want to do into their day, no matter how hard they'd like to. And those of us who do all that we can for others during this time of year often find that we forget to just take care of ourselves, too.
Do you ever feel guilty for not doing something (or maybe for doing something that you shouldn't have)? Does your guilt get worse during the holiday season like me?