Monday, 12 September 2011
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What Do You Know About "Genderqueer"?
I just want to get this straight right away for everyone... GenderQueer has NOTHING to do with who you do or do not have sex with.
Genderqueer is a catch-all term for gender identities other than man and woman, thus outside of the gender binary and heteronormativity. People who identify as genderqueer may think of themselves as one or more of the following:- both man and woman (bigender, pangender)
- neither man nor woman (genderless, agender)
- moving between genders (genderfluid)
- third gender or other-gendered; includes those who do not place a name to their gender
- having an overlap of, or blurred lines between, gender identity and sexual orientation
Some genderqueer people prefer to use gender-neutral pronouns such as one, ze, sie, hir, ey or singular "they,""their" and "them," while others prefer the conventional binary pronouns "her" or "him." Some genderqueer people prefer to be referred to alternately as he and she (and/or gender neutral pronouns), and some prefer to use only their name and not use pronouns at all.
Despite what we're force-fed by the media and by society, it really is okay to be inbetween genders if that's where you feel you need to be. It's almost preposterous that, depending on the flesh between our legs, we are expected to behave in certain ways;
Gender is not black or white, man or woman. It's a spectrum - it stretches from the extremes of gender to the gray area in-between.
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Comments (41)
I am a proud genderqueer, and I highly recommend this entry with my whole heart. Rec'ing through comment sharing too.
WELL DONE!
One of my exes is transgendered, so I kinda know about this topic....nice post.
Great post, good and informative.
I agree with all this. Very much so.
However, I really don't feel people need to get all defensive when someone accidentally uses the wrong pronoun, especially during a first meeting. And yes, this has happened to me on more than one occasion. I ain't just throwin' the hypothetical out here.
Also, I had the great fortune (or misfortune, however you wanna look at it) of being raised in the southeastern US by a father who always made all of his kids say please, thank you, sir and ma'am. If I say the words 'yes' or 'no' to you while speaking, they will most likely be followed by a sir or ma'am. This is how I was raised, not my attempt to put you in a box. If you could, kindly point out the error of my ways rather than getting all belligerent. I made a boo-boo. It happens!
Fuck yeah, genderqueers!
Interesting but seems too complicated.
Very complicated. I'll probably just use the simple pronouns they taught me in school. Makes it much easier on my end, also you shouldn't let what society or anyone dictate how you should act just based on gender. Just be yourself. I never did and I'm fine. Fuck society, seriously.
Very informative. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Fuck yes, genderqueer visibility! <3
I'm a big believer/fan in the spectrum explanation of gender and sexual orientation. It's always made most sense to me.
If somebody decides this needs to be taught in school, I'm heading an all out campaign against it! It's hard enough learning that he, she, and it are pronouns. You are a she because you have a vagina. You are a he because you have a penis. Just be yourself. Nothing complicated about that.
i am more scientific, so when it comes to believing that somebody is actually "genderless" or a "third gender" i don't quite accept it. but i definitely believe there can be something active in the mind to make one perceive that way.
Last weekend I had a wonderful conversation about transgendered individuals with my extremely conservative family . It helped change their perspective on the matter just a bit. Every little bit counts.
I have never had an issue understanding gender and genderqueers. I have had genderqueer and trans friends. My ex was trans. =)
The amount of courage that these folks have on a daily basis is beyond inspiring. To have people constantly staring, and thinking (inside or out loud) "what is IT?" Yeah...so much respect.
What do you think of Chaz Bono coming out and dancing? Thanks for posting!
What other people want to be is their business. My business is to not infringe on their rights as individual human beings. And I do try to use the preferred pronouns when I know what that person prefers.
I feel like all these labels come down to people not being able to feel accepted for who they are. It's horrible that peolpe feel that pressure from the society we all live in.
I think gender applies to the biological sex you were born.
But why would having been born with a dick prevent you from wearing a dress? Why does having a vagina mean you can ONLY be on the receiving end of vaginal penetration? Fuck what people think. Do what you want.
But these labels need to stop. I don't throw a fit when people call me straight, bi or gay instead of pansexual. You know what you are, and hopefully so does the person you're pounding, who else needs to know?
@AncoraImparo@xanga - I think Chaz is awesome. I don't normally watch dancing (it is really not my thing) but think I will be watching it this season because Chaz is on.
@Kristenmomof3@xanga - It's not my thing, either. But I'll be right there with you showing my support for Chaz. It's been hard to read the nasty stuff written about him. The man has guts. Period.
To me, people can be whatever they want to be gender-wise or orientation-wise, It really doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm only bothered by nasty people or people who think they're superior to everyone else.
This was a solid post.
I am a hetro, but my ex is a genderqueer, she is my best friend even to this day. It's an interesting topic that isn't highly talked about even in the gay community.
I highly recommend this very educational post!
Hm, at the risk of sounding ignorant, which I kinda am when it comes to this, here is my response:
"It's almost preposterous that, depending on the flesh between our legs, we are expected to behave in certain ways"
I firstly absolutely and completely agree with that statement. Gender should not define what you like, how you look, who you love, anything. Gender roles are BS.
I also completely support those who are transgender, in the transition from one gender to another. And I understand some people are born with both genitals, but I feel even then don't they KNOW if they feel like a boy or a girl? Gender just doesn't seem like a spectrum or back/forth thing to me, but as I said, I really don't know much about "genderqueer" and I guess I'd need to meet and get to know someone to understand.
@theQuickFixInYourArms@xanga - I
guess that is where my issue is coming in. I'm too literal/scientific
in my thinking of gender because it's a physical thing in my mind.
Sexuality is all about the brain, therefore the spectrum approach makes a
lot of sense to sexuality.
@Digital_Angel21@xanga - Every textbook I have had for various interpersonal and intercultural communications courses has definitions that identify sexual orientation, gender, and biological sex as different things. It's pretty cool to read about actually. My books are packed at the moment, so finding their names would be a challenge.
So to just get this straight, genderqueer has to do with one own's identity and not their sexual preference? I would just say genderqueer are bisexual, a woman that identifies herself also as a man and thus likes women and men. If it is a woman that identifies herself also as a man, but still like men, well that just doesn't make sense and I don't think I've ever seen it. Or could they be half homosexual? Closest thing I've seen is women that like playing with my dick cause they're like "oh I think it would be fun to have one of these and just put it into places," but otherwise have no actual desire or confusion in there physical gender, just view the penis as an interesting toy. Me being a slut have also thought how cool it would be to have a vagina and see what I can stick into it, but I never classify myself as male/female, I'm still male and love vaginas and boobs. The fact that I love vaginas is what makes me so fascinated by them. So I reiterate...come again?
@Digital_Angel21@xanga - I agree with the whole if you have a vagina, it doesn't mean you have to stay at home, have kids and be a house wife thing, gender roles are stupid and we are progressive, at least I am. I still don't see a woman that works in welding, bodybuilding or construction, which I have seen them all, ever consider them selves male or part male or even remotely male. They still consider themselves completely female, love dick, and aside from admiring the female form, which most will agree is beautiful, don't ever see themselves having lesbian relations. I'm still utterly confused by the whole genderqueer. I feel it connotes to one being bisexual, if you think you are man/woman, then you must like men/women, and thus you are bi. N'est pas? I don't think one can say, "I'm a man but I classify myself as a woman too, but only like women." If that does happen does that make you half gay? I'm just ignorant on the topic but curious,
This is ridiculous.
Since 97% of humanity is heterosexual, "genderqueer" isn't that important in the scheme of things.
And genderqueer certainly isn't something to be proud of since gender isn't an achievement.
Psychologically healthy people gain self esteem and pride by actually accomplishing something.
Nice article, but I would like more of an explanation on why some people feel this way. I want to understand their point of view because naming terms is good, but hearing personal stories is also apart of a good education on this subject.
One day, if we forget someone's name, it's going to be incredibly difficult to describe someone. We can't say black, people change their hair color every couple of days, and now we can't even say if someone is a girl or boy...