Wednesday, 14 September 2011
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The Vagina Isn't the Only Self Cleaning Organ
You know, the girlfriend and I don't talk very often. We can't, because she's always in the kitchen, cooking, and yelling strains my voice. But when we do, the subject of hygiene is probably one of our perennial favorites. I'm not a fan of it, and she isn't a fan of me. We do have a specific disagreement, though: self-cleaning organs.
She swears the vagina is self-cleaning. Doing anything to it would mess up the delicate PH balance built by God, she says. Maybe that's true, I don't know. I try to avoid going anywhere near there. But what really infuriates me is that she claims it's the only self-cleaning organ, and that's clearly not true.
I have one too: my ears.
It's true. Ever since I was a little kid, I've stuck to the position that ears clean themselves. I remember once being told not to stick anything larger than my elbow in my ear. I also heard from a friend of a friend that his ex-girlfriend's mother used cue tips and ended up with cotton-brain. That scared me pretty badly, and as a result, I won't let anything near 'em. I don't have many senses – I lost my sense of taste in a tragic hot-chili accident a few years back - I need to protect the ones I do.
But for some reason, this basic right to the self-preservation of my auditory canal is an affront to a specific individual whom I will not mention here. Her right to not be grossed out by ear wax (which, by the way, totally gets on EVERYTHING if you never clean your ears) is apparently more important than my right to listen to Led Zeppelin albums in my underwear.
The way I figure it, the ear is a perfectly engineered marvel. The ear wax moves further and further out of the ear canal to the outside of the ear, and then sort of gets rubbed off on stuff throughout the day. And the stuff is mostly subway car seats and shirts my girlfriend intends to wear the next day, when she's not looking. This is the way God wanted it, which is why He designed it this way. It's as simple as that.
Look, I'm not a barbarian. I shave, I wax, I even tweeze. But I won't scrub my ears for anything bar an eleventh commandment.
Have you ever heard of a self-cleaning organ? Is the vagina (or any other organ) self-cleaning? Would you not clean an organ if it was self-cleaning?
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Comments (20)
The inside of the vagina is self-cleaning, which is why douching is not such a great idea. However, I would suggest cleaning the general area with mild soap daily. :)
...why is this on healthkicker? Is his "I don't believe in the clitoris" blog going to be on here soon, too? Bleugh.
@FallenReign@xanga - It's already posted on here and it wasn't a success. I think people had enough sense to realize how much of a troll he is :\
the eyes are also self cleaning and produce tears to try to clear whatever irritants that are inside of the eyes. however, general hygiene maintenance, such as crusty eye boogers should be wiped, just as the outside of a woman's genitals might develop smegma. men have smegma, too. q-tips shouldn't enter the ear for fear of possible damage, but the outside area of the ear should maybe be wiped with tissue paper or just to quickly swab the outside with a q-tip, because the wax buildup might emit a stench. some light wax is normal to keep there but the glob of yellow wax is rather gross>_< I'd still do some light maintenance.
@anchoredreams@xanga - Actually, the "I don't believe in the clitoris" blog was never posted on HealthKicker. It was, however, posted on Datingish here, where it was fairly successful, with 7,500 views and 105 comments.
she needs to rub a dub with nonscented soap or mild scented soap...seriouslyyyy. A dirty vag can attract bacteria...and she could get a UTI. Okay not really sure...but I would want my vagina to be clean inside and out.
Vagina's are awesome and very powerful! The vagina has many talents besides just the self cleaning.
It has the ability to stretch so that a babies head can squeeze out and then shrink back down to a size that a penis fits snuggly in it.
This made me lol
Well, the vagina is self-cleaning to an extent. Just the daily exterior scrub with a mild, unscented soap and a shaving...if you lean that way.
The ears are less self-cleaning honestly. Yeah the wax comes out but not all the way. And the idea of wax running out someone's ear is pretty gross. At clean the stuff once it's visible.
I believe the eyes are considered self-cleaning with their blinking and watering and the like.
@HollowTendencies@xanga - using any type of soap can cause problems down there... it can lead to dryness/itchiness/irritation. I read up on this when I was having painful sex (not getting naturally lubed up enough). I stopped washing with soap--most of what I've read says that a wet washcloth cleans just fine (: and I'm fine now. Read #3: apparently the OP's girlfriend is right haha.
I don't know how your girlfriend can live with you, that's kinda gross. Especially if its rubbing off on things... ew. :|
the inside is self cleaning but the outside should be cleaned with a mild soap or special soap if a woman has ph issues (Which by the way often harsh soaps cause a fishy smell due to upsetting the ph balance!). The ear is actually really similar the inside is self cleaning but the outside needs to be wiped clean a damp rag draped over your finger would do just fine to clear away excess wax instead of letting it run all over everything thats pretty gross lol. I myself am a huge fan of the Q tip and always use one after the shower the trick is not to jam it in so far that you bust your ear drum lol which is actually really hard to do! Your eyes are self cleaning but you still clear away the crusties in the morning, and when your nose gets all chunked up with boogies you blow it right its all the same idea really so clean your ears thats just gross!
I clean my ears with my washcloth. I don't go digging in my ear, but I wipe around the creases.
"Cotton-brain"? I've never heard of that, but it sounds like an urban legend to me...
When I saw the title, I thought of the stomach. All that acid has got to clean the stomach, right?
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I'd like to point out neither the vagina or ear is an "organ".
@Rose_Hikari@xanga - I meant like the outside.. but I mean hey, if you don't wanna clean yourself with soap, more power to ya. lol
Well the vagina is not a self cleaning organ. I wish we had such things, men or women. There are bacteria that live in there. Bacteria are territorial, like species from the animal kingdom, so if a harmless bacteria is living in once spot it will release antibiotic substances that prevent the growth of other bacteria/viruses. This is why douching is bad, you can clean out the harmless bacteria and get harmful bacteria in. In the end bacteria are bacteria and they are are all bad if they get into the blood stream thus why you should not leave tampons in for too long, septicemia. Most bacteria living in there are actually similar strains used for cheese making, [enter jokes here]. Although the true answer is yes and no, as you still need to clean down there, the actual vaginal canal, which the scientific community calls the vagina, will be fine on its own, the area right outside, which we all call the vagina, does still need to be cleaned properly to prevent something from getting in. Stuff like sweat and moisture and other crap can get in and can cause infections. If the vagina were completely self cleaning, then infections would never occur, like when you don't properly clean a wound and it gets, yes you guessed it, infected. There are methods the body employs to prevent infection but this in no way means it is self cleaning, ears included. Cerumen, ear wax, while it helps prevent infections and assists in "cleaning" it does not really clean it and keep it clean, thus why we also get ear infections. In the end human intervention is needed to actually clean these areas, inconjuction with whatever assistance our bodies give us. At little quick fact on cerumen, it keeps insect away, just like citronella, thus how you normally, and it should be most of the time, but rarely this is not the case, won't find bugs getting into you ear while you sleep.
Well it sucks that women have to worry about their vaginal organ, it really can get infected easily. Women can also easliy get yeast infections due to the heat, which can create moister down there. Women can't take baths too often because the bacteria and go the vagina very easily. However, there are solutions I am sure a girl could find. FDS is a perfect example, it is a type of deoderant for that area in specific.
dude...eyes....tears are there to clean them
Yeah, what about the eyes?