Tuesday, 10 January 2012
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Being a Fat Chick: Awareness
Fat is the last acceptable prejudice. But why?
I think it's because, to a certain extent, it's something that we can control. We can't control our race, ethnicity, gender or sexuality. Fat people? They're ugly, gross, smelly, lazy, and have no willpower. In America, however, most people are fat people. I am one of them. I'm the fat chick you see with skinny friends, except most of my friends are also fat. I'm the woman who glares at the skinny chicks checking themselves out in a mirror, doing the ritual "I'm so fat/no you're not, I'm fat!" talk.
That's the way the world is now.
This is the new U.S. Food Pyramid. How many of you know this pyramid? My guess is, not many. People go to nutritionists, doctors, plastic surgeons, and various health stores to find a miracle cure for being fat. You fear gaining weight yet find comfort in the knowledge that your friend also ordered that chocolatey dessert that's probably about a billion calories.
What are we really afraid of? Is it the myriad of health issues that being overweight causes? Or is it the fear of being judged and deemed unworthy by society? No one wants to be that fat person that needs to be lifted by a crane out of their home. No one wants to even be a little pudgy and have a muffin top. When I'm in a restaurant I take my time with the menu, choosing between what I want and what I probably should eat instead. I think about what the waiter thinks about my choice of food and drinks and if they are disgusted with me and my seemingly lack of willpower. When I'm in the cafeteria at college, I look at all the food laid out for meals and think about what all of these people around me are thinking of me and the food on my plate. When I'm out of breath walking up a few flights of stairs and enter a classroom where my classmates don't have that trouble, I wonder if they're annoyed by the heavy-breathing fat chick.
Accept and love your body, and only change if you want to, and change only to be healthier. Not prettier, skinnier, or any of the other 'ers' out there. Be conscious of your thoughts and actions; next time you go out in public, think about the social stigma fat people go through every day, in private and in public.
What do you think about fat as an acceptable prejudice? Do you think that it's acceptable? Share your thoughts on this post in the comment section below!
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About the Author
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- From: Burdukali@xanga
- Name: Stephanie
- Location: Burlington, Vermont, United States
- About Me: I am healing my heart, my mind, and my soul. I am healing my body with healthy food and exercise, and self-awareness. This is my journey of discovery & uncertainty. Come join me <3
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Comments (102)
Its prejudice because in not in the best interest for your life. I'm all for it. I understand some people are larger framed than others but there is no reason anyone should be weighing 300, 400 lbs and more.
Yeah, I'm a hater but I dislike fat people because of the above mentioned reasons. Being fat can also be a burden on others (think how much money goes to designing stuff for larger people etc.) and it is not a healthy lifestyle. I dislike anyone who refuses to try to improve themselves, be it weight loss, education, or whatever.
There is nothing wrong with having meat on
your bones at all. I don't think very thin and frail is attractive at
all. Women should have curves. The issue however is being healthy. You
want to be able to live a long happy life. Being too overweight and
exceeding your recommended BMI creates health risks for your future,
that's what one should be mindful of - not image. As far as having some
fluffiness, it isn't terrible.
Eh, The way I see it Obesity is a health problem, being emaciated is a health problem, anything in between whether sexually attractive or not is at least not a health problem.
I think it's absolutely an unacceptable prejudice, and I'll tell you right now. There are many situations that you just can't help it. Certain medications, thyroid problems, low metabolic rate, among other things can cause you to balloon through no fault of your own. Who knows what made you that way? I know a girl who barely eats 1,000 calories per day and works out pretty hard, and she weighs I want to say like 275 pounds. Doctors have yet to find a cause, and I feel for her. I really do.
So no, I don't judge people for it, and I don't even mention it. Like I said, who knows? Maybe they do inhale large gobs of pizza and burgers, but there are other factors involved. I eat like a vacuum cleaner and I'm at almost the lowest weight I've been my entire life. Like I said, it just depends on the individual, and it's wrong to pass judgment, make fun of, or nag them.
I have been very thin and I am now reasonably overweight- though not at the point of a huge double chin or health problems, but I do have some rolls on my back. look, being thin is literally more comfortable in every way. My body functions better, I can run more freely and much more comfortably, I don't get tired as easily, things look better on me. I'm more curvy and hourglass shaped then as well. It's just SO MUCH better.
That said, I think people need to shut the fuck up and stop judging others. It's one thing if a fat person is going around bragging that they're hot shit and being a douchehead about it, but most aren't, and most are very unhappy about the fact.
I mean. Look, I got fat because I'm fucking miserable and alone and my life sucks. Of course I have a responsibility to MYSELF to take care of MYSELF, but that is NOBODY ELSES fucking business. kthx that is all
i think the next time someone says something mean to you about your weight, you should be like "SHUT THE FUCK UP" like, just yell it really fucking loud in the kind of volume that shakes a room and makes them jump in fear. :)(: I like causing pain to mean people. It will make you happy too.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - That's awful. If that happened to me I would kill myself. seriously
@DrummingMediocrity@xanga - Quite frankly I'm surprised she hasn't.
It's really sad. We're all humans and we ALL struggle with things and, for some, that is their weight. It can stem from things people wouldn't even know about. The lack of compassion is utterly disgusting. Unless one is perfect and doesn't struggle with ANY unhealthy habits (and I''m pretty confident we all do), the judgement is unecessary and stupid. People just need to learn to be more compassionate and less hateful. Until you've walked a mile in their shoes, you have no idea. So shut up and get over yourselves.
You say it's something that is controllable, yet for many people it isn't. Thyroid conditions often cause people to gain weight, as well as glaucoma medications and the ability to keep it under control melts away. For me, I gained 30 pounds thanks to the depo-shot + anti seizure medication cocktail that I've been actively working off for the last year and more but doesn't really seem to want to go away. Does that make me lazy and gross? To those who don't know me, yeah. I promise I think I'm lazier and grosser than you do after 3 hours of exercise a day.
Being a Skinny Chick: Awareness.
Being skinny lately has become an acceptable prejudice. But why? I think it's because, to a certain extent, it's something that we can control. We can't control our race, ethnicity, gender or sexuality. Skinny people? We don't eat, we're not real women, we're not sexy because we don't have "curves", we're anorexic. I am one of them. I am the skinny person who people tell to go eat a hamburger even though i can't control my weight. I am the skinny person who was (also) bullied in school, people always told me i looked like a 12 year old boy and was not sexy and did not look good, people told me i look unhealthy, people assume i have an eating disorder, people always tease about being flat chested, everywhere i look in the media and in social sites, "real women have curves" I am the one who glares in the mirror everyday wishing i could gain weight and look more feminine and feel better about myself. That's the way the world is now.See? It works both ways. You're not alone, we're just on opposite spectrums. I just wish we'd all end this hooplah about weight and stop the teasing and stop putting down others because of what they weigh and how they look. It hurts us ALL, skinny OR fat. We're ALL being harmed through our cultures identity of "beautiful".
This was not meant to berate you or dis-agree with you, i completely agree with what you're saying. I'm just putting in the perspective of others, and saying how it affects us all.
To the OP, I am curious about what this prejudice consists of. I am not claiming it doesn't, but I want to know what your experience has been. The things you cite seem to consist mostly of your own insecurity and fear of what others are thinking about you.
I was fat for a very long time, now I am not. In all those years I very rarely had anyone other than myself mention my weight. Basically I just don't think it was nearly the issue to others that it was to myself. I had friends, could always find clothes to wear, was able to find jobs, etc etc.
I was not SO obese that I needed a cane, could not fit into chairs etc, and I have no idea how large you are, so our experiences may be very very different.
That being said, I chose to lose weight, and yes, part of it was so I would look and feel more attractive. I think those are as valid reasons as any for a person to make that choice. It's not giving in to prejudice as much as it was me waking up to a reality that I was keeping myself from enjoying certain aspects of life, and I felt that it was worth altering my eating habits to do so.
I feel much better physically, as well as mentally as a thin person. There are more options open to me as how I can spend my time and activities that I can enjoy. There is less pain, etc. I am happier with the way I look and the way clothes fit and feel.
I was not bullied into this choice, I made it myself. I likewise, previously made the choices that made me obese. While there is a small percentage of people that have medical issues that make it hard to maintain and average weight, the fact remains that most obese people are so because they take in many more calories than they burn. I don't think that is a reason others should mistreat them, etc, because everyone should be treated fairly and with respect. But all people judge others all the time. We can't help it, our brain categorizes. We can choose to remain open and not let a first impression blind us to the other aspects of a person, but yes, being human, we judge.
I understand the insecurity that comes with being overweight (as well as some other issues I have) but honestly, when I was over weight, most of the judging was taking place in my own head.
I really, really don't appreciate when people say things like, "Only change if you want to, and only this reason is acceptable". As if sex appeal, better clothing options, finding yourself more aesthetically appealing, etc, are not valid reasons. Frankly, my reason for working out, just like your reason for being fat, is not really anyone else's business.
What really needs to be worked on is not fat acceptance, but minding our own business. And manners. Believe me, it's not just fat people who get their looks commented on.
I fail to understand how any prejudice is acceptible. Prejudice is, very simply, a preconceived opinion not based on reason or experience.
When is it ever acceptable to hold onto an opinion that is made without reason or experience? It isn't (even though the majority of the public seems to do it). Even if you are someone that chooses to judge someone or dislike someone based on their weight alone, that doesn't mean you need to verbalize your judgments, discriminate, or be rude to fat people. Same goes if you're a bitter fat person: you may dislike skinny people, but it doesn't mean you have to verbalize it or be mean to them (not saying that the OP did this because she didn't, but because I know plenty of people do it).
The problem is not really acceptance of this or that or whatever...the problem is acceptance in GENERAL, and the problem is that everyone and their mom thinks that other people's lives are their business. Someone else's life conditions are NOT your business, and it is not your place to judge anyone unless you have read their autobiography or know them personally. You have no idea why that person is fat. You have no idea what their life situation is, their history, the medications they're on; you can NOT tell that just by looking at someone. You can write them off as lazy, but that's merely your opinion, and it's arrived at without reason or knowledge of their real situation.
I absolutely refuse to uphold prejudice of any kind, and I really hate how much our society is still based on many prejudices. I have been a fat chick for most of my life too, and people who say prejudice against fat people doesn't exist are just lying to themselves. I was treated so much better by complete strangers when I was thin that it's quite ridiculous.
I'm now in the process of losing weight again and my goal is to lose 50 pounds this year. But it's not so that random judgmental people will be nice to me. It's because I just feel better when I'm more active and healthy. But even though that's true, I don't think it's ever right to judge/dislike someone based on their weight.
People are naturally biased toward treating attractive people better. Getting rid of a prominent muffin top, or fixing bushy eyebrows, or exercising and getting nice arms make people view you more positively and treat you better. People also view you as more attractive if you have more confidence.
Losing weight then can help people view you more positively, make you confident, and help people view you even more positively. It makes your life better.
But yeah, even though I don't say mean things out loud, when I worked at a restaurant, I was actually curious what the obese people would order. I kind of wondered what eating habits they had that could have led to their obesity.
And there's always the awkward situation when I'm hanging out with a bunch of skinny asians, and the one noticeably fat girl is sweating, complaining how hot it is, and the rest of us fall into an awkward silence because we don't want to make it obvious that the rest of the group is fine. All of us just know that everyone is thinking the same thing.
Case in point to my last comment,
"Very thin and frail isn't attractive at all. Women should have curves"said by, ipink_berry.
We get it everywhere. Everyone, despite weight.What if that person said they don't think plump and curvy was attractive. And women should be thin and tiny? I'm guessing it would hurt someone and make them feel less of themselves.
You don't have to make people feel better by putting down others at the same time. It makes no sense. You're not helping ANYONE at all despite what you think.
I think yes it's something we can control but I think in many it's not just laziness or lack of willpower, but like a sickness. What does make me mad is seeing a fat parent with a fat child -- passing on of the sickness. I am determined to guide my children in making healthy choices and not having to live the life of "fat" my husband and I have lived and are trying to make ourselves healthier so we do not have to continue living that way.
the whole BMI thing is a load of bunk, even according to my own Doctor.
If I were to go by the BMI I would be "morbidly obeese". What the BMI does not take into account is body structure, muscle mass, and bone density.
I know I have a few pounds to lose, but if I were to weigh what I "should" weigh it would be very unhealthy. I have my goal, agreed with by my Doc.. and thats what I am going with.
Ive been the "fat chick" my whole life. And you know what? I say screw them. Im healthy, I have engergy, I can run a flight of stairs after my kids and not be winded. But most of all, I love who I am the way that I am, and anyone else can suck rocks.
I think people get prejudice and preference confused.
i try not to judge individuals because most of the time i don't know their circumstances. but as a whole, the western world needs to take responsibility for the the obesity epidemic. it really is affecting all of us whether it is rising insurance costs, (obesity leads to health problems like heart disease, cancer, diabetes...) environmental impacts, (high fat and meat consumption have a bigger ecological footprint, meaning that these industries pollute more which hurts everyone in the long run) or national security risks. (the majority of people are now too fat to join the army...) not to mention that most people have friends and family dealing with these issues. i don't want to see any of my loved ones go to an early grave because of their weight.
and while individuals certainly need to take responsibility for their actions, corporations and the government also need to start promoting and producing healthier food options and lifestyles.
i'm going to be bluntly honest with you. obviously i don't know you, i don't know your situation in its entirety. i do know that you shouldn't be out of breath from climbing some stairs. that's a definite warning sign that you are not living your life to your healthiest potential. try working out more. its honestly the best feeling in the world once you get into it. i'm out of shape right now, but when i was working out on a regular basis i felt awesome. i looked better and i had more confidence. i felt like a capable strong person. i was proud of the fact that i could run a few miles when before it hurt to jog even. its just such an empowering thing to feel that your body is strong and capable. and of course there are numerous health benefits. everyone deserves to feel that way. also, i read in your bio blurb that you have faced abuse in your past. i'm so, so sorry that you had to deal with that. i think its awesome that you are facing your issues head on and deciding to not be a victim anymore. coming from a family of psychologists, i know that going through horrific experiences such as the ones you've gone through can reek havoc on your self esteem. things like that definitely factor into making healthy lifestyle choices. victims of rape sometimes unconsciously want to make themselves as unattractive as possible to avoid future sexual assault and end up engaging in self-destructive behaviors such as binge-eating, anorexia, drug use, cutting etc. often when people are depressed they go through the same thing and find it difficult to find the motivation to get better. like you said, healing your heart, mind and soul are extremely important, but don't forget about your body :) your body is important and beautiful. it is worthy of respect, pampering and attention. don't let negative past experiences convince you otherwise.
best of luck on your journey! i recently watched "fat sick and nearly dead" and i found it hugely inspirational. i would recommend it to anyone who is trying to live healthier or just wants to watch someones heartwarming and amazing journey from being depressed and close to eating themselves to death into a happy, healthy active person who helps others to live healthier too.
It depends...
The fact that you YOURSELF said that fat people are smelly, lazy, etc... is sort of a wonder to me.
I am fat, and I am not smelly, and while I might be MORE lazy than an athlete, etc I am certainly not a slob. :P I clean my house, I do some mild exercise, etc.
It's one of those things that honestly makes me wish that this life were different. Most of us still work in the frame of mind that if a person is "fat" that must mean that they ate their way there, and that they're lazy and don't do anything to try and help themselves.
Not true in my case. While I admit that I have no exercise "routine", I actually eat better than anyone in my entire family, INCLUDING my dad who is obese, and (here's the kicker) he and I have the same BMI even though I actually LIKE fruits and veggetables, eat them, and fruits as well. I don't have a lot of bread, or rice in my diet, I don't drink soda, (sept a few particular times a year) and I don't regularily eat things like cookies, cake, candy, chips, crackers, snacky foods, etc.
Yet, I'm fat.
The worse part is that my mother and sister are thin. They got the "thin gene" and they eat pretty much whatever they want. :P My sister has been known to eat McDonalds every day of the week (We live right next to one.) Me? I hardly eat it once a MONTH...
So, my point is that while at TIMES I might be prone to "over eat" (Getting better with that, although it was never a real habbit), I certainly didn't get here by eating the things that most people think got me here.
I think it's funny most of the time when I'm watching a show like "The Biggest Loser" and all those people are talking about how they like Pizza, Chicken Wings, Candy, Donuts, etc etc, half the time I'm gagging. I can't even imagine eating that way on a regular basis. The last time I had a darn donut was months ago now! O_O... Only eat candy around the hollidays (few chocolates) eat pizza SOMETIMES but certainly not every week, hate steak, hardly ever see mashed potatoes. I mean, it just goes on and on.
I'm learning that my body is not my mom and sister's (although, at times, it'd be nice if THEY knew that) :P
AND that for some people (especially now days) weight gain ALSO be reactions to chemicals and pesticides. BECAUSE of that, sometimes someone can be eating healthy/balanced and still gaining weight.
I'm a fat girl and I think fat people are disgusting. I'm trying to exercise more, but I'm often very lazy. I know it's my own fault.
What I hate is when people assume someone is fat because of their diet. I NEVER NEVER NEVER eat fast food. I never eat at McDonalds. I eat an incredibly healthy diet. I'm one of those people who drinks all their water, eats all their fruits and veggies, avoids white flour and processed foods. I don't drink coffee or alcohol. I eat very little dairy.
Yet here I am, fat. So that's why I hate it when people go, "all those fat people who eat mcdonald's." Uhhh ... no. I don't eat there, thankyouverymuch. I eat healthier than you. But I gain weight when I look at a piece of cheesecake and then I don't work out as often as I should, so there you go.
And I cringe when I see other fat people. If I had it my way, all unhealthy restaurant options would be eliminated and everyone would be fit. That's my dream world.
i still think it's a load of bull. Smokers get WAY more crap.
my bf smokes and my dad WONT shut up about it. But my dad is obese, and has been for years, and has been steadily gaining weight.SO SHUT UP about how smoking is disgusting and kills you and fix your own damn body first
@blondiedeam@xanga - Touche. When I was bulimiarexic (I am condensing the two as I was technically a purging type anorexic, but most people are too ignorant to know the technical definitions of said disorder; even though they all have the audacity to diagnose them :P) and underweight, people had no qualms making fun of me. most people don't now that i'm a little bit of a chubster. it was not okay then. I love how said eating disorders are a joke to so many ignorant douchefuckers out there, too, but we all have to be sensitive only to fatties.
It's like, look, people need to find better things to think about it. I'm convinced that no one really reads anymore, which is why we get fascinated with other people's lives that actually have no important themes or relevance towards us.
May I also add how much it pisses me off even MORE how people have the audacity to give self-admitted fat people all this diet advice? (like so many people who commented on this blog did, whom I won't directly reply to because I'm really getting sick of these xanga comment-wars. it makes us all overcompensating assholes when we do so)
It's like, where the fuck do you get off preaching to me, you condescending twat? Bitch I'll sit on you. I didn't fucking ask for your advice. SHUT UP."
That's it.