Almost every day when I log onto my social media accounts, I see tweets and statuses about someone's weight struggle. I see whether or not it was a good day, if they went to the gym, how much they ate, or how disappointed they are about themselves.
Why does everyone think it's okay to put their weight loss progress on social media? Some of these people are my good friends, and I encourage them with their goals in real life. For those who I don't know as well, my hand gravitates towards the "unfriend" button - which I wish I could do for my good friends as well.
If you want the support from a larger, online community, go to sites that want to hear about it (like
Healthkicker!)!
Honestly, it makes me feel uncomfortable the amount of emotion and detail people put into these statuses. I don't log into Facebook to see this. I feel like these are private issues that should be kept to yourself or the support group you have in your life, such as your friends, family, dietitian, Weight Watchers, etc. I would understand if these people didn't have support from their friends and family, but for a good amount that do it, I know they do.
I'm okay with an occasional update, I'm happy for a friend who reaches their weight loss goal at the end of the summer and wants to share her success on her social media.
But it's too much and too personal when there's a daily update that is highly detailed on Facebook.It seems that the people who post these weight updates have low self-esteem, which is linked to their weight struggle. They are clearly seeking affirmation from others, but I don't understand why they're seeking it from the 600 or so "friends" they have on Facebook as opposed to their friends in real life.
I'm not saying that I don't struggle with my weight, fitness or self-esteem, but I also don't seek attention from sources that are outside my close circle. If I need support, though, I call my mom or vent to my friends.
Do you think it's okay to post personal weight issues on social media? Do you expect it when you log in?
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Comments (21)
I dunno. It makes sense to me that every day in detail is excessive, but if I don't post tutorials and things on my blog on Xanga, I don't do them. Having people following what I'm doing holds me accountable to continue doing it, and I would attribute the daily updates to the same feeling.
It's embarrassing to admit to those people that you failed, so you don't fail.
I think it can help keep people accountable to a degree.
Perhaps those people lack an adequate support group in real life... so they're seeking one online.
Perhaps their friends in real life lack knowledge in regards to fitness and weight loss.Perhaps the majority of the people they've got friended on Facebook ARE who they consider to be their real, close, personal friends...Perhaps they're battling food issues/an ED and posting about it regularly helps them be able to hold themselves accountable for their actions and not make poor choices.Also... I'm going to go with the classic "It's THEIR wall... if you don't like what they have to say... no one is forcing you to read..."
http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/545386_446570748697179_1390014115_n.jpg
There are dozens of reasons that someone would want to post about these sorts of things openly... and I think it's shitty that someone would indicate that it's not okay to be open about what you're going through.
No, but it their page (whether it is Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Blogger and Xanga etc)
Yes, it is very annoying. To me, facebook has always been the equivalent of what people would say to someone else in a conversation while blogs are more like a journal where this type of behavior is more acceptable. No one (well almost no one) would repeat that type of thing in person to all the people they come across; why do they do it on facebook especially since the majority of friends on a facebook account are usually friendly acquaintances?
If you think this is annoying, just wait until those type of people get pregnant and start having children. You should probably just unsubscribe from their feeds now because it is never going to end. Of course, those tend to be the same type of people that will flip the fuck out if you miss some random status they posted because it was so important.
Yeah, it is "okay". It's their facebook. It might not be interesting to you, but that doesn't make it not okay.
If you share your fitness activity on Healthkicker, you get support even if you report that you didn't do well today. If you do the same thing on Facebook, you will get negative comments. Some people need this level of accountability to keep going. Support is a good thing, but sometimes, a person will work harder to avoid a negative than they will to get a positive.
I read this post as being very negative, and perhaps I'm imposing my current mindset on it. I will try to have a courteous response.
"I feel like these are private issues that should be kept to yourself"
I don't think that weight loss needs to be a "private" journey. Implying that it should be such reinforces the shameful undertones of being overweight in the first place. When you go to your close circle or family, you call it support. But when they go to social media, you consider it to be attention seeking and a need for affirmation. I feel that is a very unfair way to view it. By involving many people they know, they not only increase their support base, but they may also encourage others to begin re-examining fitness and nutrition.
Social media sites are comprised of people they actually know, while sites like Healthkicker will not be. By posting content where it will be seen by people who will actually interact with them, they increase their level of accountability and also open up potential opportunities. I'm nowhere near in shape, but have many friends who publicize their struggle on FB. I try to respond to these posts with encouragement, and also invite these people to come work out with me or go for an adventure such as bike riding or rock climbing.
Stating that they have self-esteem issues and then are attention-seeking is very dismissive and not very supportive.You stated that you "don't log into Facebook to see this". What DO you log in to see? A good chunk of your news feed is meaningless crap. But when people put actual emotion and detail, it makes you uncomfortable? Everybody uses social media how they see fit. Trust me, I don't care for the "try to name a city in X state without the letter e" stuff. I don't care about a good chunk of what people share and re-post. But don't let it get your panties in a bunch. If you don't like it, hide their feed from your wall. If you *really* have a huge issue, then have the gusto to delete them or discuss your concerns with them. It's the Internet, there's a lot more unsettling stuff out here than someone stating they went to the gym today.
why wouldn't it be okay? if it bothers you that much, unfriend them. as a reader above said, it helps keep one accountable. plus, it is their facebook page... they can update it with whatever status they want. it's not about seeking attention as you claim... is it really that big of a deal to scroll past an update about weight/fitness/etc? i will, once in a while, post statuses about my weight... but that does not make me have "low self esteem"... i'm proud of my journey and i'll post to my hearts content.
Hmm..what DO you log into facebook for?
Didn't read most of it. However, if it is a private issue to be shared with friends, family, an their dietician (and doctors), and you want to unfriend them, are they truly your friends? Obviously they trust you enough to let you into their struggles. Just remove them from your Facebook friends and stop complaining about it. Or, if you don't want to remove them, hide their posts. Keeping them as "Friends" is not strengthening your relationship with these people, it is a true detriment if you don't want their true unbridled journey through weight loss and gym membership.
I agree that it's something that is better kept to a closer circle. I also realize I'm far more introverted than most people. I get that people who are more extroverted connect that way. It's not something I would do or something I enjoy reading about on people's pages, but they have a right to post it.
"It seems that the people who post these weight updates have low self-esteem, which is linked to their weight struggle. They are clearly seeking affirmation from others, but I don't understand why they're seeking it from the 600 or so "friends" they have on Facebook as opposed to their friends in real life."
So what makes you think or know, as you seem to, that the people who post up weight struggles or accomplishments have low self-esteem? What makes you think or know that that's even linked to their weight struggles? And what makes you think or know, as again you seem to, that they're seeking affirmation from their Facebook friends? Maybe -- and yes, this is a totally crazy idea, I know. -- just maybe, they're posting it on Facebook as an update to say someone like friends or family they do not speak to every day? Maybe, just maybe, they're posting it up on Facebook to log it because at least they're trying to do something and they want to have a way to document it. If you don't like it, don't read it. It shouldn't be such a big deal that it actually bothers you... and again, if it does, unfriend the people or don't read it.
You're doing the exact same thing, posting on this site. You want reactions from people, you want people to know this is what annoyed me today. OP sounded extremely negative and a bit condescending in this post, and it's sort of a shame to read. Be more positive that people are at least taking the initiative to post about it! That means they want to do something with their weight to change it!
"Almost every day when I log onto my social media accounts, I see tweets and statuses about someone's weight struggle."
None of my FB friends of either gender are like that. Take charge of your life. If you don't want friends who talk about inane crap you don't want to hear about, then don't make friends with people who talk about inane crap you don't want to hear about. You can't control other people, only yourself.
I post my gym progress on my facebook because it's a big part of my life, and whenever I'm proud of myself, hell yeah do I want to shout it to the whole world. A girl should be proud if she deadlifted 80 kilos, dammit! If my facebook friends don't care they can unfollow me, or unfriend if they're really averse to me being awesome and proud of it.
And some days, I do have a bit of a fail day, and I'll post about that too because I have friends on facebook who I wouldn't normally text or talk to who will be encouraging about it and give me ideas on what else to do. It would be ridiculous of me to text them all individually and ask them for advice, especially as some of them don't even live in the same country. Social media's a lot easier.
No, I do not have low self esteem, nor do a number of people I have on facebook who post about their weight. Actually, most of them are working towards being positive, healthy people. So I reject your judgemental hypothesis that we're "attention seeking". We're just proud of ourselves and letting the world know.
I know some people who will start up a separate blog just for use with their weight loss progress. Rather than clouding their general social media account with weight loss posts, they create a separate one in which they often connect with other people who are doing the same thing. I think that is good in several ways, one of those ways being that they tend to only connect with an audience who is specifically interested in the topic.
A great number of things on Facebook tend to annoy me, so I keep very few friends and lean on blogging because I can pick what I want to read. Having someone post a bunch of weight loss stuff through Facebook would certainly be one of those things that annoy me- they'd be better off to join a more specific online community if they are looking for support
True, they need to talk about it in the right place and find a supportive community. Some examples: right here on xanga and on Sparkpeople. There are many, many more.
I think oversharing in general is annoying. The occasional update is fine, but I don't want to know every intimate detail of anyone's anything.
@Btrfly_Wngs@xanga - That's what I was trying to get at. Too much information all the time is unnecessary. I don't mind the occasional update though!
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